let's have some fun, this beat is sick
i wanna take a ride on your disco stick
don't think too much, just bust that kick
i wanna take a ride on your disco stick

so this is what freedom feels like (:
i almost forgot. HAHAHAHAHAH. but it feeeels like i might be coming down with a cough. damnit #@%*$#)%(!
wellss, but i shan't complain; its been happy days ((:

i hate not knowing what i want and getting wrapped up in things of the moment and getting all worked up with the extremities of emotions only to wonder at the end of it all, what was that all about?!

I WANNA WATCHH SO MANNYYY MOVIEEES. alvin and the chipmunksTWO!; time traveller's; new moon; THE PROPOSAL <3; beth cooper? HAHA.

i'm TIRED. so TIRED. but i'm really glad school's overr. i mean as much as it was funn, pretty happy, the workload was PPBBBBTT. and the stress. GAHHH. two weeks feels waaay too short. i'd better make it last, make it last (:

when i grow up i wanna be famous, i wanna be a star, i wanna be in movies
when i grow up i wanna see the world, drive nice cars, i wanna have groupies
when i grow up, be on tv, people know me, be on magazines
when i grow up, fresh and clean, number one chick when i step out on the scene

but be careful what you wish for cause
you just might get it
you just might get it
you just might get it

i've been on this same page since tuesday; but inspiration deserts me as always, halfway through.

WHERE TO super trouper? ):

take me home,
why come back to me

CHRISTMAS DON'T BE LATEE i wanted to blog but i realised, not only is my brain's tired from not-much studying, its empty. which is scaring me cause in two days, in two days, i've to sit for two consecutive papers. kill me.

plus my words seem to jumble and mix together wonkily.

i can't believe i missed driving on friday. i feel horrible whenever i spend money lousily. ): really i do. i may not seem it with how frequent i stick my hand out and jump into a cab but i secretly beat myself up. not literally of course. but WHYY ):

two days, i need divine intervention. lots and lots of it. after everything, will you still help me?

BIMBO MOMENT NUMBER whats life if you can't handle a little criticism even if its unfair. HAHA.

sometimes i wonder if i like the way i'm growing up. ): do i want to serve in a ministry and put up with things i don't feel like i should have to? even though its a good learning experience? do i want to go clubbing at night and lead a wild party life? do i want to work and study at the same time just so i can have a good time shopping and hanging out? I DON'T KNOW ):

there's this sense of i'm at the wrong place, leading the wrong life engulfing me. i don't want to be ungrateful but; i don't know. i just feel out of place. SIGH.

i want to move on but am i ready? ): do i want to? )):

QUESTIONS work? work work! off we go then! (:

bahhh. lazy slack-ish bad bad week. HAHA. how am i ever gonna find the zeal to studyy next week?! ooof. but i'm not complaining! this unexpected week of bumming around, going out to play has been nothing but fun happy fun fun fun! (:

well obviously the emo post before was just a slightttt glitch! i'm glad everything's okay now but what can i say, quarrelling seems to be an essential spice. WAHAHAH. session tmrrr. EEEKS. how do you say unprepared? and not willing to get started without freaking out? HAHA.

i CAN'T believe i'm TOTALLY missing sgidol this season. like NOOOOOO ): HAHAHA. i think i'm actually quite a loser-ish singapore teen. i heart channel8 dramas and channel5 dramas entertain me and things like national day parades complete me. WAHAHA.

welll. in lieu of my procrastination, after fishing, i opened photoshop and voilaa! i finally have pictures to upload and beautify the endless pages of words words wordss. ugh.

i love funny people; and i love that you can make me laugh. HAHA. my double fillet suckked yesterday. ): but breakfast this morning was meltss. i love breakfast because i love being able to feast on things like sweet egg-soaked french toasts, crunchy yummy cornflakes with milkkk, chinese carrot cake that comes in a square and tastes oh so bloody good albeit oily. AHAHA, tau huey the absolute love love love, macdonaldssss breakkafaaast oh do i even need to say anything!? <3 why for today! i had homemade chocolate cake with milkk! and the BEST JAPANESE BREAD ever baked with a thick layer of kaya and melted butterrr. HOHOHO. now do you know why i love breakfast? HEH.

my dad just offered me 10bucks if i stay home the whole day. like whaaaat. do i seriously go out that often?! NO WHAAAT! ppbbbbttt.

oh alrightttt. i've nothing else to ramble about so picturesss. ((:


tomorrow is his POP day, POP day POP day! (: like longgg time ago, when we were young and happyy. HAHA. we still are. but you know what i mean (:

it's just like me to overthink this somehow
or analyze it 'til i'm blue
and let my hair take over my emotions
ignore them like i always do
but i'd rather be in love with you


what i reallyyyyy went to keppel bay for; milkshaaaakees ((:


<3 pretty cupcake! that tastes just as good as it lookss. HAHA. reminds me of toast! (: not toast toast but the sandwich shop toast. WAHAH.

i could take all the lessons learned from past loves
color my judgment with old news
convince myself that only fools chase rainbows
find some other poor excuse
but i'd rather be in love with you


pretty pretty.


pretty pretty preeettyyy

just let it happen
that's all i need to do
let my heart lead me
and where my heart keeps leading me is straight to you


the keppel bridgeee! if only i can drivee. it was a pretty darn long walk in please! ): and i must say, i suck at directions! HAHA.

talking about driving thoughhhh! i had lesson ytd and i totally got scolded by my instructor. yesterday was bad bad. i got a fierce instruction yet again! and i did think it was going to rain when i woke up. it ALWAYS rains on wednesday when i have lessons; but it didn't! HAHA. so yes! back to driving. #)%*$%($!#)%!) i accelerated whilst doing a three point turn TWICE can! OMGGGG. almost died. and i only stalled ONCE! because i did a uturn too slowly in second gear. like HOW IS THAT MY FAULT!? i was unprepared. i hate driving. I HATEEE MY INSTRUCTOR. oh wait i don't know, do i? kay la, maybe not. HEH.

so if you're wondering why i'm telling you this
instead of holdin' back the truth
revealing all these feelings i've been feeling
hopin' that you feel them, too




<3 the moron who refuses to smile properly and ruined a NICEE picture with the bridgee. pfft. (:

it's 'cause i'd rather be in love with you
yes, i'd rather be in love with you
i'd rather be in love with you

SUMMER DAYS is my jealousy uncalled for? ):

i don't know; i think i'm happy but really i don't know. ):

photographic happyness hurts too much. bahh. my tummy hurts too )):

noise pollution eck; fishingg; tomyam ban mien; sob late sobs; right turn; u-turn; retarded laughing; hot hot hot; boring briefing; training plan; exchange of allowance; JEALOUSY MAXX. HAHAHA; happy happy happy; wait bored wait wait; stuff your face and grow fat; mixed ^$%#@%&*()%$@!! big sighh

WHATS THE DIFFERENCE stu price: [playing piano and singing passionately] what do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? do they dream of mauling zebras, or halle berry in her catwoman suit? don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to tyson and your cozy tiger bed. and then we're gonna find our best friend doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. doug, doug, oh, doug, dougie, dougie, doug, doug! but if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers,
[stops suddenly]
stu price: well then we're shit out of luck.

caught two movies yesterdayy. WAHAHA. the hangover was uber x1000000 funnaye. but i think its a guy's show. shudders. but still but still (: UP was after that and i want my own russell. dangggg. little boys are just oh so oh so cuteeeee.

but it was a happy happy dayyy! i would post pictures but my dad's on the other computerrr. and that's where i load pictures. WAHA. anywayyyysss. keppel bay was preeeeetttty. (: and so was the food even though someone thinks its overpriced. but pffft. (: money will always come, somehow.

TALKING ABOUT MONEY; the flea market was just awesomeeee. i feel bad spending all that money but gahhh. i couldn't resist! ): so much for promises and swearing off shopping. DAMNIT (:

phil wenneck: [his answering machine message] hey, this is phil. leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor: don't text me, it's gay.

i'm stresssedddd. i've got tv to edit but! i'm just soo laaaaaaazy ): nevermind i woke up early just so i could. i'm tired and laaaaazy. that only means i have to do something tonight - or possibly rush everything including session on thursday. oh no oh no. WHAT DO I DO! ):

internship briefing tonight is putting a crimp in everything! i'm considering bringing my laptop around just so i can do some editing but, will i? HMMM. i didn't think so (:

russell: [whining] i'm tired! my knee hurts!
carl fredricksen: which knee?
russell: [after a pause] my elbow hurts!

will happiness pay off? or more so will striving to be alwayss happy pay off? national day was pretty okay i guess. i wasn't high and my heart was really more keen on watching idol and the parade. but ppbbbbttt. what can i say, i love you guys. although its when the doubts start questioning me that i feel kinda HURT and like GAH.

family time has been <3 and because of so! i feel guilty going on so often. ): i'm starting to feel the chore driving is becoming. ): what have i gotten myself into and how did the like become dislike so quickly ): i thinkkk we're u-turning today and i guess its the challenge that has me cringing. i think i'll bring my laptop around. some work just has to be done! YES (: oh right, i just remembered, there's that issue about power. okayyy. so maybe not. SOB SOB SOBSSS.

russell: [points to kevin] i found the snipe!
carl fredricksen: [amused] oh, did you now?
[chuckles]
russell: are they tall?
carl fredricksen: oh, yes. they're very tall.
russell: do they have a lot of colors?
carl fredricksen: they do, indeed!
russell: do they like chocolate?
carl fredricksen: ye... chocolate?
[he turns around and sees kevin]
carl fredricksen: gaah! what is that thing?

are we ever going to hang out?! ): i feel lonely-ier as the days go by. thats not goood is it? ): i don' want to be like mr. fredricksen. where's my adventureeee?! maybe i'm just turning a blind eye to it. oh yeah, maybe. whooops (:

well alright, i've got half an hour left after must procrastinating. off i shall go, edit something. BAHHH.

russell: [to mr.fredrickson, referencing kevin] this was her favorite candy bar. because you sent her away, there's more for you.

CROSS MY HEART i'm hooked on fishing and its a terribleee feeling! ): especially when i want to do work, i just can't tear myself away from facebook. GAHHHHH. evil evil evil ): i only stop when i've no more strength left. what a loserrr righht. i know ):

OH NO. but i'm quite determined to get to work as soon as i'm done with dinner and get clean (: HEH HEH HEH.

its been a, happy week i must say. honestlyy. i didn't think i could do it! (: talking to ryan almodiel yesterday sorta got me thinking. its quite easy starting to care about someone, finding out about their life figuring out how they work and all the dirty little secrets. HAAHAH, just kidding. (: but its quite easy but the most horrribglesst thing about me is that i can't seem to keep my friends. ah, thats the fault of the bad temper. but i don't know if it bothers me. it probably does, when i get lonely and all i reallyyy want to do is have supper and realise! i have no one. NO ONE. oh golly. but gahh. i guesssssss, its time to start deciding what i want out of my life eh. if i want to keep my friends then i guess i've to start being more sociable. like i don't know people think i'm bitchy. HAHAHAHAH. i don't know, am i?

with much more on my mind, i guess it'll all fall into place someday somehow lah right.

i miss, praying. i mean i do. but the constant of going for mass and having half an hour of solid quiet time, even though i'm distracted at times, always means alot. completes and sets me right. i don't know how to say it. WHEN DID I GET SO LAZY?! ):

i think its when i started isolating myself and giving myself up to temptation. dangg.

why, i've been visiting a pretty good wake-up call website and its making me somewhat more AWARE and helping me in life.

don't let me drift too far away okay? ):

right on, wizards on deck with hannah montana was pretty darn entertaining today but it wasn't reallyyy as funny but who's complaining.

ITS NATIONAL DAY TOMORROW! LIKE $@%$#^!#$)%(! too sooon i swear. YIKES. but of all things, i think i'm most excited about singapore idol. gwashh. HAHA. and the fireworks i won't see of course and that tiny sense (depending on what i do tomorrow - it might grow) of patriotism that will fill me tomorrow. AH. i do love national day.

but for tomorrow, it'll be the usual party - i miss bunking out in hotel rooms and ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the fireworks before settling in to watch sgidol. DAMNIT. why did i have to grow up! ): but i'm not complaining; i mean i won't. with the right attitude, i know i'll have fun tomorrow.

SECOND GUESS and so i thought a new skin was in order (:
mac's a real pain when it comes to changing skins though. blargh.

its been a brand new week. like brand new week. if you get what i mean.
it feels better (: but i guess the manymany cancelled lessons were a contributing factor WAHA

snitched a few copies of tribune home (shhh) and i think i like this issue waaay better ((: but obviously the untouched articles' best YAYNESS.

its finally friday and this weekend's gonna be different. notice how everything's suddenly changing? honestly; i don't feel the same.

i miss, bestfriends, recessfriends, and i'm happy even though i've lost certain precious things that i used to have. how nice (:

NUMBER FRIEND all day staring at the ceiling
making friends with shadows on my wall
all night hearing voices telling me that i should get some sleep
because tomorrow might be good for something
hold on
feeling like i'm headed for a breakdown and i don't know why

i don't even know how to start describing today ):

its one of those $(%*%$@^@! days you wished you never woke up to. friends; pee; screaming; yelling; stupid tears; and the strong urge/desire/need to for once run away from home. afterall i've nothing to lose right? comfort, home, love, security. i don't know - just for that moment, it felt like i didn't need/deserve any of it. i'm tired of having problems in my life ): i'm tired of being told i've changed, i'm tired of being told off, i'm tired of blaming others, i'm tired of being bitter/selfish/evil. GAH ):

well i'm not crazy
i'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me
i'm not crazy
i'm just a little impaired
i know right now you don't care
but soon enough you're gonna think of me and how i used to be

i sought all the peace i could get last night. but the blows they keep coming and i only know how to keep running. i truly believe in karma but how do i say it - i'm powerless against my inner demons ): i even SKIPPED mass today to watch WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE and HANNAH MONTANA. like #$%(*!(*!$^@%(^* this is NOT me ):

i feel different, destroyed, like a stranger. and i just want to know what will make things right ):
and then my conscience asks; what will you do with the knowledge if its ever granted to you? i don't know ):

this is horrible beyond horrible moment of all moments. and i just want to, disappear. ):

me
talking to myself in public and dodging glances on the train
and i know
i know they've all been talking bout me
i can hear them whisper
and it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
out of all the hours thinking somehow i've lost my mind

oh and i think pictures tell a thousand lies. ): but i'm really glad it seems like so many people enjoyed plar. if anything it was great photo op moment yes? why of course i wished the night could have gone differently but what can i say; the soul picks up the slightest bit of negativity and the body reacts. its quite strange, knowing i was at the same place with so many so many happy people. i cringe. but i think we did a great job? by far, the smallest yet most accomplished year. we deserve some credit methink.

some people are just so GOOD, i can only wish.

well i'm not crazy
i'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me
i'm not crazy
i'm just a little impaired
i know right now you don't care
but soon enough you're gonna think of me and how i used to be

WHERE TO?

K: kuek
M: moose!
N: nicole
P: peiying
R: rebecca


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