school's a bitch ):

it must be a monday thing. )):

the weekend sucked balls. ): honest. if you ask me, it was a damn bad start for an awful week i'm gna have to slog through. ): fever, sore throat, headache, flu, cough, body ache, might as well just whack high fever and get sent to hospital ah. more exciting somemore. booo ): but gah. i'm surviving, left merely with a bad throat and a cough, and a headache that comes and goes. but still, i wished i could have skipped the whole episode of falling sick altogether. i had high hopes for last weekend. but its gone and now nothing i can do can bring it back. )):

yesterday was prolly as bad as sundays can get. ): i slept at 8.30 the night before, had an hour odd nap in the afternoon and i went to bed at 10.30 last night only to fall asleep at 3. ): GAH. my heart goes out to insomniacs. i thought i left that life behind me. ): but it all came back yesterday. the disgustingness of lying in bed and listening to everybody sleep. having to stare at four walls in darkness and just feeling like shittt. )): although, lying in bed helped me think quite a bit. in fact, it brought back tankloads of memories of sleepovers, insomniac nights and childhood basically. ah. the heart hurts. because along with all that i had time to reflect upon my evil deeds too ):

i've prayed and prayed as hard as i've ever prayed all weekend but gah, the hopeful has lost all hope.

failing to keep my temper in check, last night ended off with the mostest perfect cadance. but i can only move on now right although with regret definitely. if you ask me, i'll only have one thing to say to myself: its too late to apologise. see see. ):

we just had prize giving and aye, like past ceremonies, all i have to say is one word: demoralised.

they say help comes from above. i say above never looked so stormy. ): i need back my believe.

back to school, i hate this feeling of useless-ness. )): stagnant, not moving forward. gahhhhhh. )): and i haaaate technology. eckk.

overloadeddd. boom. ):

AIYAH. i need to hang around happy people. RECESS FRIENDS WHERE ART THOUUUU. i swear we must meet up soon ahhh. GAHH. ): and kuek damnit, come back soon. ):

everything has an ugly side to it doesn't it. everybody has an ugly side to them don't they. what happened to unconditional. GAH. ):

to all assholes, honestly: fuck off. ):

this is when i ask myself, been asking, always will ask, over and over and oveeerrr again: WHY ME ): i don't deserve this, i don't deserve you ah )):

FALLING TUMBLING CRASHING i want to be that happy too ):

i've got 4 minutes.

its here and like expected i feel alot better even though i know its going to be a tough 4/5 days. GAH. at least at least, hopefully, no more PMS ((:

piano mock is in 2 hours odd and i'm freaking scared. ): ms tham's words keeps ringing in my head. please lemme pass. ):

yesterday was disgusting day. first half of school was just eck. but i've survived long day number2! (: oh so aye, second half was better. because we went to the atrium and met up with sammie, tab and glenn and they're damn funnay people. WAHAHA (: and suddenly, i miss t110 like alot. ): damnit.

AH. and i discovered something exciting during lecture ytd! amazing seriously, how gossip can keep even the mother worsttt headache away. (:

but the night just went downhill, so i started this morning still bruised from yesterday.

yesterday was EARTH DAY and i wore green! ((: tabby was the only other person in t110 that knew it was earth day. SAD CAN. HAHAHA ah well.

banging on blackandwhite keys, furiously decorating cards while simultaneously shoving soggy coco crunch down my throat, anxiously snipping and flipping advertisements, i'm glad today's moving on.

with that vehhhh little amount of hope, i carry on.

i've been so bothered and tired, i'm missing my shows. ):

and its gna rain! GAHHHH and i'm gna take a cold bath ):

i miss bestfriends. ): even though i talked to bestfriend like yesterday and monday, and kuek on sunday/saturday? its feel like forever. damnit.

GREY on my knees, i’ll ask
last chance for one last dance
‘cause with you, i’d withstand
all of hell to hold your hand
i’d give it all
i’d give for us
give anything but i won’t give up

i don't mean to blog but its a monday thing.

only a dumbass moron like me can forget to charge my laptop for lectures! ): it was NEGATIVE ZERO can. )): and its only at 19% now and i've got approximately half an hour so i'll prolly leave for lectures again with only 40%. DANG. ):

the weekend was, exhaustive and extremely UP DOWN. ): i've got the worst case of PMS and i'm aching everywhere. ):

i was labelled a bully on saturday and although i think i know what i did, i don't think i'm at fault. this is when wise words ring true. i'm quite a terribly mean bitchy person when i want to be. ): where art thou mercy? there'll soon come a time when i'll have to stop providing myself with excuses. happy one, i hope you're well.

sunday's mass was spectacularly good. ((: i throughly enjoyed it. see, you can't attend morning mass too often, you'll soon miss the magic of it.

let your hearts be untroubled. aye.

i'm searching for that contented, happy, everything's well and taken care of feeling that reaches the bottom of the bottom of your heart. its a warm fuzzy tinkly feeling. i used to get it in the mornings but now i only wake up to dread and ultimate disgustingness. ):

what went wrong where? ))))):

ah well. despite all the big unhappy small things, i thank the big man for the extremely small happy small things.

still, i wna go home. ):

i wanted
i wanted you to stay
‘cause i needed
i need to hear you say
that i love you
i have loved you all along
and i forgive you
for being away for far too long
so keep breathing
‘cause i’m not leaving
hold on to me and
never let me go

i ask for one day today.

MOMO phoebe banks: everybody has problems. everybody has bad times. do we sacrifice all the good times because of them?
phoebe banks, ethan banks: [looking into one another's eyes] no.

(a capella, giselle)
how does she know you love her?
how does she know she's yours?
(marlon saunders - calypso singer)
how does she know that you love her?
(giselle)
how do you show her you love her?
(together)
how does she know that you really
really truly love her?
how does she know that you love her?
how do you show her you love her?
how does she know that you really really truly love her?
(giselle)
it's not enough to take the one you love for granted
you must remind her or she'll be inclined to say
"how do i know he loves me?
how do i know he's mine?"

well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey?
he'll find a new way to show you a little bit every day
that's how you know
that's how you know he's your love

(calypso Singer)
you got to show her you need her
don't treat her like a mind reader
each little something to lead her to believe you love her

(giselle)
everybody wants to live happily ever after
everybody wants to know their true love is true
how do you know he loves you?
how do you know he's yours?

well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?
dedicate a song with words meant just for you?
he'll find his own way to tell you with the little things he'll do
that's how you know
that's how you know he's your love
he's your love

that's how you he loves you
that's how you know it's true

because he'll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes
plan a private picnic by the fire's glow
his heart will be yours forever
something everyday will show
that's how you know (x5)
that's how you know he's your love
that's how you know
that's how you know he's your love

(calypso singer)
that's how she know that you love her
that's how you show her you love her (that's how you know)

(everyone)
you've got to show her you need her
don't treat her like a mind reader
how do you know that you love her (that's how you know)
that's how you know that you love her (he's your love)
it's not enough to take the one you love for granted

giselle: is this a habit of yours? falling off of stuff?
robert: only when you're there to catch me.

we should all steer clear from stuff that makes us unhappy. why? cause i say so. (:
fairytales the way to go if you wna know.
like mumbai, i'm inspired.

THAT FAMOUS HAPPY ENDING TALK'S CHEAP.

thanks for life lessons.

i feel bloooody wuper hideous today. dang. ): i shall ask the big man why tonight. (:

2 days. i've survived 2 days. feels like an eternity more but nope. only 7 weeks, 3 days. 7 weeks, 3 days. GAHH. i'll do the math and minus off my free days and labour days and what not to make myself feel better but i'm lazy. and its really late! so whooops! too bad. (: so yep, since school started: it has been as if singapore's experiencing dang winter, i've started sleeping on buses again, unglam to the maxxx ah. i've broken stuff every morning and i've been plauged by unpreparedness, everybody's serious now, all mellowed, if not by 1.1 then by 1.2, i'm still dweedilling. ): shucks. ah well. steadfastness, you can come into handy now. (: oh. i joined 2 new CCAs. WAHAHA. (: the thrill, they don't ever last and i don't ever follow through. but maybe this year will be different.. (: so thats school, i rather not talk about it anymore.

and then i realise i've got nothing else to talk about except: i've got a disgusting craving for sausage mcgriddles. GAHH.

i've been eating a square of chocolate everyday! today i had twoo. now i'm gna be fugly AND fat. ):

mommy's hilarious: don't say bye, say goodnight. bye's as if you're gna sleep and never wake up. don't wake up good what! would you like it if i said that to you? she's out to torture me with her. eckkkk.

tomorrow will be a better day. aye.

let whatever you say be true. let our promises hold. let things be as easy as when you talk them out. life. never goes the way you want it to. ):

HEARTBREAKER KID i told the witch doctor you didn't love me true.
i told the witch doctor you didn't love me nice.
and then, the witch doctor, he gave me this advice.
he said that,
oh e, oh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang,
oh e, oh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang.
oh e, oh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang,
oh e, oh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang.

you've been keeping love from me just like you were wiser.
and i'll admit i wasn't very smart.
so i went out and found myself a guy that's so much wiser.
and he taught me the way to win your heart.
my friend, the witch doctor, he taught me what to say.
my friend, the witch doctor, he taught me what to do.
i know that you'll be mine when I say this to you.
oh baby,
oh e, oh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang,
oh e, oh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang.
oh e, oh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang,
oh e, oh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang.

lets hope the witch doctor's right. you've gotta be fucking kidding me.

they say girls know, i'm saying, i know. ffffffff. i wished it was easier to believe. easier to keep you at bay. easier to stop getting so fucking fucked up. ):

oooo this is an s.o.s
don't wanna second guess
this is the bottom line it's true
i gave my all for you
now my hearts in two
and i can't find the other half
it's like i'm walkin on broken glass
better believe i bled
it's a call i'll never get

fuck promises. fuck sharing. fuck being understanding. fuck finding reasons. fuck communifuckingcation, fuck happiness. this is the way it is. if thats who you are then i'm sorry, i cant do it anymore. ):

the entry looked kinda crude, but then, who gives a fuck about censorship anymore? i'm not ofuckingkay.

SOMETHING'S WRONG i can remember when we walked together
sharing a love i thought would last forever
moonlight to show the way so we can follow
waiting inside her yes was my tomorrow
then something changed her mind, her kisses told me
i had no loving arms to hold me

everyday i wake up
then i start to break up
lonely is a man without love
everyday i start out
then i cry my heart out
lonely is a man without love
everyday i wake up
then i start to break up
knowing that it's cloudy above
everyday i start out
then i cry my heart out
lonely is a man without love

i cannot face this world that's fallen down on me
so if you see my girl, please send her home to me
tell her about my heart that's slowly dying
say i can't stop myself from crying

everyday i wake up
then i start to break up
lonely is a man without love
everyday i start out
then i cry my heart out
lonely is a man without love
everyday i wake up
then i start to break up
knowing that it's cloudy above
everyday i start out
then i cry my heart out
lonely is a man without love
everyday i wake up
then i start to break up
lonely is a man without love
everyday i start out
then i cry my heart out
lonely is a man without love

i turned on the tv yesterday and this was the first thing i heard. gah.

yesterday: shopping was wokay. you can't complain when you've got spending power. but you can when you've got limited power and manymany beautiful things surrounding you. sometimes i cringe at materialism. but hey. not my fault pretty things make the world go round. if only greed didn't surface as often. even though i could have done with the false departure alarm, dinner was absolute best! (: surprisingly fantasticcccc sea breeze((((:, nice waiter, beautiful ambience, awesome company, pizza, steak, mussels and merlot, and funnay tasting hoeegarden. ECK. but i truly enjoyed myself and i guess it was worth skipping other things for cause i was really a happyhappy kid (: talks about dreams had me thinking. i like long messages. its come back. oh. i'm starting to sleep less. depressing ah. because i'm pretty sure when monday comes along, i'll suddenly transform into some sleeping freak. ):

I CAN'T BELIEVE SCHOOL STARTS ON MONDAY ): but seeing how its like only thursday. i'll appreciate and cherish whatever time i have now. )))):

tuesday: he only means to give you the best. (: unintended 6 hour talk with py was gahhh. (: btw suntec toliet's freaky and its just shit when it rains and you're out. ): but the concert was good. i was terribly impressed by dunman. they kept me entertained in more ways than one. (: i missed bestfriend too! and that was partly why tuesday was a good day, because we got to catch up. (: i think recess friends's highly retarded. and i'm still living in guilt for letting kaching piss me off. ): I TOO SAW THE FERRIS WHEEL SPIN! ((:

today: i'm grateful because i'm indoors and its pouring (: plus i've got porridge for lunch. ah the finer pleasures of life. (: but i deepdeepdown hate how a dumb email could've spoilt my day like such and allow negative feelings to overcome my damn difficult to attain positive feelings. #$)^%$^)()!%! ):

tv has become the master of my emotions. and its gna kill me one day. the mockery. GAH. )):

come on ah, why art thou so weak. bloody hell. wake up ah, wake up. ):

if its yours, its yours, meant to be, meant to be. HATE ):

no point deluding myself any longer lo. i'm a pretty ugly person. dang.

thank you for everything big man.

i'll post pictures another day. when i upload them. and yes. i'll send them. WAHAHA (:

ALONE TIME please stop.

do you have any idea where you're going.
–God

i don't. ): its this pain: losing a loved one, hoping and waiting to only find out that you've waited for naught; everybody else has moved on, waking up and finding out that you've missed christmas, being bullied, being snubbed as not-kin, having nobody believe you, realising that your favourite toy was given away to your lil brother and your mom tells you to suck it up when you cry, having no one rub your bruise and mumur soothing words when you fall and cry, blink an eye and realise that everybody has left you to die. ):

i refuse to let you hurt me anymore. happiness where art thou?

phonecall, ten minutes, town, chrysler, test drive, parkway, lunch, gramaphone, ice cream, siglap, clocks, atonement, cab. twelve to six: thank you

dear, i fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, i know
and maybe there is nothing that i can do to make you do
mama tells me i shouldn't bother
that i ought to stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me, but i think you do

so i cry, and i pray, and i beg

love me, love me, say that you love me
fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
love me, love me, pretend that you love me
leave me, leave me, just say that you need me

so i cry and i pray for you to

love me, love me, say that you love me
leave me, leave me, just say that you need me
i can't care about anything but you

lately i have desperately pondered
spent my nights awake and i wonder
what I could have done in another way to make you stay
reason will not lead to solution
i will end up lost in confusion
i don't care if you really care as long as you don't go

so i cry, i pray, and i beg

love me, love me, say that you love me
fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
love me, love me, pretend that you love me
leave me, leave me, just say that you need me

so i cry, and i beg for you to

love me, love me, say that you love me
leave me, leave me, just say that you need me
i can't care about anything but you (anything but you)

love me, love me, say that you love me
fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
love me, love me, i know that you need me
i can't care about anything but you

aye from deep deep down it hurts
he says: poor lad, so sad ):

AINT NO SUNSHINE leonardo da vinci: you cannot leave everything to fate, boy. she's got a lot to do. sometimes you must give her a hand.

i think i'm ready to let go now,

you can go your way and i'll go mine. today's the realisation, give me a few more to put it all into action.

its been such a longggg time since i've watched tv and cried balls. BUT OMGAAAAHH. damn sad damn sad. i'm really damn sad. seeing the wife wail, my heart hurts, i swore my heart hurt too. )): home is where the heart lies. AYE.

i've been taught alot this week, so renewed once again, i'll forge on. i'm looking forward to quiet time later. its been what, a week. of anger, of hatred, of pettiness, of sadness, trials, trials, trials.

shopping yesterday was wooots. (: now i know whats missing. WAHAHA. (: MATERIAL, MATERIAL, MATERIAL, BAD BAD BAD. but i've only got one week left lah, don't enjoy now, enjoy when!

i only ask for one goood, fantastic, awesome, spectacular, wonderful, amazing, almost perfect week. one week, seven days, please. ):

do the things that you always wanted to
without me there to hold you back don't think just do
more than anything i want to see you girl
take a glorious bite out of the whole world

you could be happy. i could be happy. GAHHHHH.

now is all i've got.

leonardo da vinci: i know that a life without love is no life at all.
henry: and love without trust? what of that?

EVER AFTER eric applebaum, the hat collector: all stories, even the ones we love, must eventually come to an end and when they do, it's only an opportunity for another story to begin.

i'm tired of bathing with freezing cold water even though its good for the hair and skin, i need to pee baaaadly and i've been on the computer for an hour but i haven't started anything for session. DANGG ):

molly mahoney: i knew it. as soon as i saw that suit.
henry weston: knew what?
molly mahoney: you're a 'just' guy.
henry weston: what's a 'just' guy?
molly mahoney: a guy just like you. same hair, same suit, same shoes, walks around, no matter what, you think it's all just a store, it's just a bench, it's just a tree. it's just what it is, nothing more!
henry weston: alright but, but this
[looks over his shoulder]
henry weston: is just a store.
molly mahoney: i'm sure to you... it is.

mr. edward magorium: why are you lying?
molly mahoney: i have to.
mr. edward magorium: but your pants will catch on fire...

this is what is missing, childlike innocence. ):

one week three days, two days obligations. whats happening? everybody has everything falling apart. gah.

ALMOST MAGIC

K: kuek
M: moose!
N: nicole
P: peiying
R: rebecca


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