HAPPYNESS (:

eddie: (reading shakespeare's 148 sonnet) "o me! what eyes hath love put in my head/ which have no correspondence with true sight?/ or if they have where is my judgment fled/ that censures falsely what they see aright?" it's beautiful.
paige: it's gibberish. i have no idea what he's saying.
eddie: well, he's saying that love is magical, and that it makes people look at each other in an unspoiled way, without judgment.
paige: why doesn't he just say that? why can't people just say what they mean?
eddie: well, people rarely say what they mean. that's the interesting part, is... is what's going on underneath the surface. see, take line. the sun itself sees not until heaven clears. what does that mean to you?
paige: that the sun can't shine when it's cloudy.
eddie: no. you're being too literal. see, don't just go for the obvious. see, all these words, they have multiple meanings, and you have to explore the possibilities and then make your choice. see, like the word "sun", that could mean the actual sun, or it can mean light. but then "light" can mean knowledge or reason.
paige: that could go on forever.
eddie: yes. yes, it could. but i think in this case it means reason. and then "heaven" may refer to the pearly gates, or it could mean a state of being, you know, like being happy or in love. so now read it again, taking in all the possibilities, and tell me what you think it means.
paige: the sun itself sees not until heaven clears. i guess it means that love blinds you. and when you're in love, you can't think reasonably.
eddie: do you agree?
paige: yeah... i mean, it's just a poem.
eddie: yeah... yeah, it's just a poem.

(THE PRINCE & I)

funnay show, kept me upright. (: but then smelly ice age2 just had to go make me sleepy again. oh silly creatures.

ANYWAYS. FIRST OFF, MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS. (:

christmas this year passed by in a blur, wokay, what am i saying, this entire bloody year passed by in a blur lah. BUT OH. coooolyo, tears fell not on my birthdaaye this year. WAHA, YAY! (: i suppose that comes with being 17 means you're no more a kid and all that. eckk. but its boring to turn of age when the year's coming to an end and all. blegg. but hey, i'm not complaining! (:

eve flew by with last minute shopping, christmas dinnahh, midnight mass and surprise surprise! (which really wasn't a surprise at all - but i'm still awesomeslyyyy touched (:) oh plusplus, thanks for the overseas greeting! (: i get one every year. WAHA. next year, i'll do all the calling, (:

then adam went (okay not funny WAHA) not so quickly with christmas lunch, caaaake!, cake again! (: (i'm a spoilt kid, so sue me! (:), preseennnts (I LOVEE giving awesomest presents - or so i think is awesome lah (:), MICKEY MOUSE AND FRIENDS (:, christmas dinner, christmas parrtyyyyyy, surprise again! (: (although, i missed everything by a minute - $^*!#(^&!(*! taxi driver ):)

which reminds me, taking a taxi's like ultimate no pleasure anymore. ):

WELLZZ, we've got a few more days till NEW YEAR! (: of which i'm quite sure my resolutions would include
#1 spending more time with my family
#2 being a better bigggeeer man. (:

i hate being torn between un-understanding people. must remember you can't make everybody happy. ):

I MISSED GRINCH AND PETER PAN. SADNESS ):

i've been amazingly sleepy but yet i always only restlessly fall to slumber. ):

KUEK'S in hongkong already, most probably, or reaching. and aye ): i'm sad! it feels like a long farewell, but she'll be back in 5 days, so anticipate friends! (:

oh the magic of caroling! LOVE (:

mehhhh. i'm trying really hard but because it isn't easy, i made it my wish, thus please please say you'll be granted. ):

i'm ABSOLUTELY DREADING next year. ): i don't even likey the number 8. yeckkk.

WOKAY! (: i'm going to spend the next few days getting orientated, doing work, screwing myself over (sessionnnnn ):) and hopefully shopping! (: (:

perhaps i've been a lil tooooo overbearing, demanding, selfish and irritating. whoops! hell, hell, hell. ):

humbugggg.

ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME, TWO TURTLEDOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREEE! (: the best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear

'i thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.' 'first we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of tollhouse cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.' 'does somebody need a hug?' 'i just like to smile! smiling's my favorite.' 'i think you're really beautiful and i feel really warm when i'm around you and my tongue swells up.'

santa: i've been to new york thousands of times.
buddy: really?
santa: mm-hmm.
buddy: what's it like?
santa: well, there are some things you should know. first off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. it isn't free candy.
buddy: oh.
santa: second, there are, like, thirty ray's pizzas. they all claim to be the original. but the real one's on 11th. and if you see a sign that says "peep show", that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at the new toys before christmas.

(ELF)

i bet you can't wait for christmas tooooo! ((:

i love you. i love you! I LOVE YOU! i've been so caught up in bleg i've stopped asking after people whom i care about but i hope yall have been good. (:

SO SAY YAY. i'm back from sleepover (have you ever been to bukit panjang? I HAVE! (:). and i feel like some blood drained freaaak. (literally) thanks for the awesomest christmas/birthday present lo. ): ACTUALLY. it feels more christmas than birthday every every year. its kinda sad nehh. but aiyah. you can't fight with the big man for celebration. (: so i'm still happy i'm a christmas baby - although i'm somewhat dreading the big day this year. everything's different (i even skipped caroling! ):) ah wellzzz! strawberry shortcake smelly people is plus minus = boooo. ):

plus this year's like dumb sad measly 2 week long holiday lah. STAB ME. ): say you hate schoool. i haaaaaate school. ): i'm going to have to say goodbye to i'm-16 tooooo. ):

stop spinning me round and round. i used to be in control of my life but not anymore. dang ):

ben&jerry's! like MAJORMAJOR cravinggg. and beancurdddd. gaah. (:

i'm awfully affected by your bloody PLASTICness. ):

I WNA GO TO HEAVEN EHHHH. ):

i've never bought so so so many presents before. i feel so ripped apart lah. i hate spending money. pooo. ): but in the spirit of christmas, in the spirit of christmas. my backside. yeck. WOKAY. total contradictory paragraph. whoops! (:

i suppose i've been good. i'm sorry for alot of things thoughh. ): i reallyreally am.

and because patty's the absolute awesomeeeeest. everybody can sing to christmas and be HAPPYYYYYY. (:

so this is christmas
and what have you done
another year over
and a new one just begun

and so this is christmas
i hope you have fun
the near and the dear one
the old and the young

a very merry christmas
and a happy new year
let's hope it's a good one
without any fear

and so this is christmas
for weak and for strong
for rich and the poor ones
the world is so wrong

and so happy christmas
for black and for white
for yellow and red ones
let's stop all the fight

a very merry christmas
and a happy new year
let's hope it's a good one
without any fear

THE LOVE LAH. although it still sounds like the somewhat wrong one. IT'S AWESOMEEEEST. (: MELTS.

and before i forget, randall tan's like GAHHHHH! ((((((: he waved goodbye to me okay. HOHO! (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUEK AND REBECCAAA. (:
<3

STRINGS OF POPCORN suffering is one very long moment.

camp was a mixture of happyness, annoyance, retardness, siannzzness and sorrow. GAH. the weight of extreme tiredness almost killed me on the last day, especially having to sit through meeting. that step to tear everything down and be away is oh so inviting yet i'm being held back by so many other things. or maybe not. possibly all simply self-created. i feel like nonsense lah. there're no more reassuring, promising, happy faces. ):

everybody happy asks everybody sad to be everybody happy too. but words come easy. eckk.

its been a long time this feeling of abandonment, loneliness and longing. ah. i just want to stay home but home's looking somewhat colourless with loud sounds of machinery wailing. when i find someone to listen, i fear talking because of the awful things created - betrayal and judgement. but the ecky feeling's honestly eckky. HAHAHAH. pooo.

it's 8 more days to christmas and i would say i'm excited but i haven't gotten anything ready. i don't even have a cake! HAHA. but i suppose there's more to the season than presents, shopping and cake. this december's somewhat grey. haaate.

i honestly miss bestfriends like crazy. before we know it, we'll be hit by the tide of school, departures and other friends. ): but its already somewhat so eh. and it sucks lah. they say you get bored of people whom you hang around everyday, but i don't remember that being so. but what i remember doesn't always seem the same. whoops!

oh christmas song, where art thou hiding. ):

doubt, doubt, doubt, doubt, doubt.

i'm missing alot of you. come back to meee. ):

and everywhere you turn people are smiling with false grins on their face, behaving like they belong and you don't. even my bed turns me away. gahh.

reconciliation tonight, i can't even say i'm looking forward but aiyah, maybe cleansing is all one needs. blah.

the shopholic, everybody hit with city pressure illness movie was a good watch. i hate seeing people lose things they truly cherish. ): but they always find each other back. boringg. HAHAHA. kidding, kidding. who doesn't like happy endings eh?

finally, the skies have stopped crying. the grey skies could've stayed though. ):

TRUE LOVE there're so many things to doo. ):

anyways, the completion of phonetics journal felt awesomee. i love seeing my projects all printed out and ready for submission btw. so yes. i'm only left with the filling in of phonetics. wish me luckk. tonight i chiong! plusplus got outlines. eckk.

cordy's awesomeest, class is starting an hour later just because its christmas and she doesn't want to break the christmas spirit! (:

i'm trying oh so hard, i'm afraid i'm turning into stone. bah.

oh christmas. (:
#1 christmas deco at michelle's was awesomeeeest. it was everything i ever imagined of the perfect christmas scene. ((:
#2 i've got a nice arrangement of silent night despite how much i hate that song,
#3 i lubbb chritsmas! (: but christmas season isn't christmas season yet because i don't know the title to the best christmas song everrrr.
#4 on a side note, caroling's been hohoho. (:

some people just irritate the shit out of me. why why why. ):

tomorrow's the last day of school (say yay! ((:) and after that its off to LTC (eckk) and then i can shop for two weeks straight into christmas (say double yay! :D)

WEDNESDAY SHIRT i'd strike myself down with lightning but i have to have to get this off my chest first: i hate old people like reallyreally hate old people. i should have known that the day would suck when i woke up and felt like shit, i should have known something was wrong when even though homily was good i had this unsatisfied feeling in me, i should have known the day would get worser when whilst i was praying some old lady happily stomped all over me.

i respect old people, i really do, i love my grandmothers, i reallyreally do. but old people are generally, most of time, bloooody annoying i feel like slapping them. GAHH. i mean, i know you're old, i know you're entitled to be queen, i know i should give in to you, but you should be considerate and use your brains senile as it may be. ffff. i'm so so going to hell. ): but this old lady, had absolutely no consideration, come on lah, mass isn't about sitting at the first row. and bloody hell! because i was praying there (you don't interrupt people in prayer you ffff no brain) that would mean that nobody's going to steal that bloody seat from under your nose! FWAHHH. what you old bunch of people were trying to do, is honestly crazy and nonsensical. if i really wasn't afraid to getting shot by whoever's watching, i would have given you a piece of my mind. old people. hate, hate, hate hate hate. GAHHH.

but i had fun shopping today with bestfriend. (: oh how i love that i can be my irritatinging bitchy self and still be loved back. (: i'm glad you're my after-life company. i couldn't have asked for more. HAHAHA bleghh. (:

and so i went for mass again, in hopes of saving my soul.

there's this anxious feeling in my soul and this alarming message my brain's sending out that says i'm screwing my life over. WHY ): i don't wna work anymore. if only i could bring myself to let fail. ): oh competition, ffff.

i have to remind myself that i've gotta be strong even when all i feel like doing is disappearing. ):

no longer till the cows come home; its now till the cows died. funny shit.

when music really mattered and when radio was king
when accountants didn't have control
and the media couldn't buy your soul
when computers were still scary and we didn't know everything

when popstars still remained a myth
and ignorance could still be bliss
and when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
my mum and dad were in their teens
and anarchy was still a dream
and the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail

when record shops were still on top
and vinyl was all that they stocked
and the super info highway was still drifting out in space
kids were wearing hand me downs
and playing games meant kick arounds
and footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face

i was born too late to a world that doesn't care

i want to be part of that.

ah. i should have known i would be in a terrible mood today, i think i'm pms-ing. stab me stab me. ):

if only the fword could make everything better ):

DISMAY at the fate of your will

i officially hate project deadlines and how i have to force myself to complete shit. blegh.

i'm also officially tired of waiting for you. the rain's been blegh! it suckks to go out and get your feet all wet. pooo.

aye. its this time of the year again when i've got to make a choice. but there's oh so much more to consider now. ): and i've got so much more fear in me. ): plus i can't even say at least i've got you anymore. STABS ):

i caught big momma's house2 last night before ANTM. and WAHAH, it was a good watch. i wanted to be a loner and catch a movie by myself today (i just realised that movies are a really good fix for any bad day HOHO(:) but i decided against it in the end as i always do. and please tell me you hate ANTM. wouldn't have been my vote, blegh.

i don't even want to start questioning the existence of everything.

everybody seems ready to take on the world, i'm not. ):

i'm happy for you. oh so oh so much. yay (: but that doesn't change the fact that i miss you. yall made a difference in my life and left it cold when yall had to all leave ):

HOME BOUND i'm feeling strangely stressed. ): i need therapy. i need a new brain! i need a holiday. i need the world to come to a bloody end. blah. ):

I HATE SCHOOL. ):

there're so manymany things to do i'm really really afraid. of all the responsibilities and most importantly of all the unknowns. ): its the i can't wait for the next few weeks to speed past but yet i don't want them to come kind of feeling. ah. i'm starting to doubt my prayers being heard but i'll keep faith. afterall, without faith i'll be left on my own, and whats the point of that aye! ):

the body's weak. ): are my expectations soaring beyond my, our limits. i think so. blegh.

in a while, crocodile. in a while.

ANTM's last episode today! i am practically one with the excitement! :D :D

i almost died at SIM yesterday! ): the escalator jerked into motion while i was walking down. freaaaky! bahh. if i were to die, it'll be quite the unglamorous. HAHA.

OHH. i saw elvin ng yesterday! CUTE! FWAHH. (: (:

t110 celebrated tabby's birthday today. she's damnnn cute! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAYE TABBY! (:

i feel like skipping radio tmr! ):

its all a vicious cycle.

i can't wait to put up my decorations! (: i can't wait to go shopping! (: i can't for life after the 20th! (: i can't wait to be happy! (: i can't wait till i get to go home and sleep. (:

oh suicidal. talk to me. talk to me. talk to ME. ):

HEARTS APART and shit just falls and falls ): but i'm tired of feeling down. i'm going to beat this cheerfully! stay with me aye, happy thoughts. thanks bestfriends! (: yall were the bomb yesterday, it meant alot to me! (:

whats the point of: i don't even know. not worth it, not worth it, i'm going to formulate a new chant!

ah. i'm going to wish for wishes this year. so sue me. (:

christmas magic is slowly inflitrating the air! say yay! (:

happy two!

GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN hush my baby now
your talking is just noise and won't lay me down
amongst your toys in a room where i can take no more

the clouds in your eyes
down your face they pour
won't you be the new one burn to shine
i take the blue ones every time
walk me down your broken line
all you have to do is cry
yes all you have to do is cry

photographs and brightly colored paper
are your mask you wear in this caper
that is our life we walk right into the strife
and a tear from your eye brings me home

won't you be the new one burn to shine
i take the blue ones every time
walk me down your broken line
all you have to do is cry

almost breaking down in school was the final straw. the temptation to run is pulling at me. what do i do now? ):

SCARLET BUTTERFLY stop saying you understand. ): its getting harder and harder to find hope/happyness and i'm so tired of being an emo shit, stop it with the trials please. ):

i hate things that hold you back. gahh. ): if i didn't have so much fear, i know i'll be safe and loved by now. ):

where were you this time last year? i was, this bloody sentence i've asked myself over and over again the past week and i've never felt more miserable. ): this time last year was absolutely beautiful, words can't even begin to describe how i was feeling. but this time this year, everything's so fugly i feel like killing myself. (not literally of course, i still want to go to heaven lo) and if this is how the year's going to end, i think i might very well just cry day in day out. ): i've never felt so broken before. ):

it must have been friend eat friend week.

if you feel hurt, stabbed, fucked up, how the fuck do you think i feel? bloody bullshit lah. ):

AWASH

K: kuek
M: moose!
N: nicole
P: peiying
R: rebecca


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