why is it oh so hard to talk to you nowadys. and its both of you eh. not just one, hello. ): does this mean that i'm the one who's at fault? the one who's changing to an unreasonable piece of shit such that we can't even have a normal conversation without arguing anymore. ): everything seems to be solely dependent on whether you're in a good mood or not. ): i feel like stabbing someone, myself preferably. ): ):

everybody should have a robot bestfriend or something. somebody who'll listen and provide you with oh so wonderful advice. but i'm starting to wonder if my definition of wonderful advice is what i wna hear or what's really good for me. do i really only wna hear the good things that's why i get upset all the time or are they really just not giving me words of wisdom and blaming me for not accepting their reasonings. the world should just go crash and burn. this sucks lah ):

and there's a quiz on friday. STAB ME. ): i'm tired of being nice. ):

but i thank the big guy for pamy today, because of her and her quirkiness, i had a splendid evening! YAY (: and of course, wheee to bestfriend because, crosses fingers, she's crashing movie tmr! hoho. (: (i thought i should at least add smtg happy to this disgusting post GAH ):)

HIDE AWAY YAY! i don't know why but i'm feeling absolutely happy and contented right about now. (: i'm not even dreading assignments anymore! i shall conquer them all by the time i head back to school on wednesday for V for Vendetta. (: hopefully.

lectures have been wokay so far. (: second half of the day should be just silly fun seeing how i no longer have to sit at some dumb corner but instead i'll be with magic mel and sammie all the way! yay! (: oh. i also haven't been paying attention. which is kinda like shit because i would imagine i'm just stupidly digging my own grave to failure. ):

mass yesterday was awesomeeest! (: i attended it with my moronic brother. hoho. (:

i don't REALLYY have much to say but i just wanted to mark it as happy day. (:

i was almost late today too! BLEH. i left my house at 7.30 just to board the bus at 7.50. like ultimate stabs can! ):

WOKAY. i'm now oh so looking forward to the weekend. YAYYY! (:

don't you just smell excitement? :D

would remembering reasons really help numb the initial rush of bitterness and disappointment? its been long, friend.

BEE-TEA-DOUBLE-YOU! i'm sitting diagonally opposite twohill. WHEEE! (:

when will you be back?

the criticising thing never stops. suckkks. ):

DANCING BEARS this is crazy can. ): i've got a BAZILLION things to do! ):
#1 there's radio report and capsule transcript
#2 socpsych journal (i have no idea like AT ALL as to what it's about ): i'm starting to regret not paying attention because kill me, i cannot find anything on mel ):)
#3 speechcom assessed speech (which is omgwashh because i have NO IDEA what i should do! ):)
#4 cyf posters

okay, maybe not a bazillion! but it definitely feels like a bazillion! ): i don't even feel like getting started. ):

the feeling sucks when you know everybody's hardworking and coping and moving on in life and you're just there, rooted to some dumb spot, stagnant, rotting, dying. ):

life's just abit messy now. ): or maybe it's just me and lack of sleep. hoho. (:

yesterday was overwhelming. HAHA. so many things happened it had got to be the longest day EVER. (: it started off with retreat (which was honestly a waste of time but aye ):) i sang for an audience! (: not that the audience was paying us any attention so it was basically like kbox with the bffs! :D and then i had to go home to get money to get VCDs. i could have actually not gone back lah but aye, i wasn't in the mood to be early anyhows. whooops. :D and eh, unexpectedly, not that i'm complaining, i went back to tp for dinner! (: (: and after a gazillion nerve-wrecking phone calls i had to call a cab and fly down can. ): party pooooper! (: but woho, the night was a blast even though i was soaking wet, cold and sleepy and initially scared because of dumb stories we had to tell and listen! ): the water war replaced memories of the stories in the end, so all ended well! (: except, yah lah. ):

i missed morning mass again. ):

okay. my thoughts aren't exactly formulating very well now so maybe i should go busy myself with something relatively more idiot-proof first. (:

there's school tmr! ):

i can't wait to see pamy on tuesday. (:

i don't know what to do. ): its starting to get harder and harder to see the light of things. ):

GONE OVER THURSDAY! (: tomorrow's fridaaaay! awesomeeeest! (:

i initially thought it was going to be a oh so sucky day because
#1 i waited twenty minutes for the dumb bus (i should have went to school with joshua, somehow, things go smooth-er in his presence HOHO)
#2 and then i thought i was going to be late because at 8.30 the dumb bus wasn't even on the PIE ):
#3 i left the house with an insecure amount of money. HAHA.
#4 i didn't prepare for speech and everybody looked oh so prepared i wanted to die ):
#5 my outfit sucks but not as bad as yesterday PHEW! (:

BUT NOPE. the day has so far been aokay! YAY! (: i'm going to credit it to the desperate plea i sent the big man to make it a good day after a pretty sad yesterday ):

anyways! (: i'm glad i chose to talk about BV during speech. perry asked me to talk about mission but i really enjoyed thinking back on my BV journey! REALLY EH. (: i think they rockkkkk. (: even though you know lah, my that particular grievance :D but hey, nothing's more important than ALOT OF LOVEEE (: (:

i shall write a tribute to them one day! (:

yesterday was spent GAHH. ISSUES was a WASTE of time ): and IAC teacher had a bitchy face. ): pooo. IS seems like extreme stress shit thingaling this semester ): ho hum! ): but nicey people so YAY! (:

oh yesh! perry and i helped ben with invites for youth mass after dinner! hoho. i still extremely dislike the name colour but it was awesomeeest fun racing against time even though i was shit tired after that ): not to mention depressed because of thingalings - like missing my LAST EPISODE first part! ): but aiyah. ):

HMM. i don't know but i'm glad the week is coming to an end (: hen's night was cancelled ): but i think we'll still gather! YAY! (:

OH OH. i have been helping gabby do friendship bands, accomplishing feat! (:

and NICOLE LOW makes me oh so happy everyday, THANKYOU BESTFRIEND! (:

and i wouldn't survive school without sammie even though we constantly abuse each another in the name of communication is irreversable.

there's presentation later! ):

pathetic me needs oh so much love, it suckkks ):

america's next top model tonight! WHEEEE. (:

i just need you to say you love me and mean it ):

KEPT EMOTIONS i wish i didn't irritate as easily. ):

MEHH. yesterday was an okay day. (: i had the awesomeest nap and thereafter headed over to nicole's. (: WHEEE. i miss her! ): I MISS MY BESTFRIENDS LAH. ): suckkks. can't wait till kuek comes back and nicole's on holiday and i'm in school laden with projects - no no, i mean, i just can't wait for her to come back so we can have fun fun fun tgt! (:

all of us are green greeeen! whether we know it or not, its waiting, ever-ready to sprout horns and consume us with evilnneesss. its in the way we subconciously ask questions and it suckks. ): i feel like some weakling lah. GAHH. ):

that was random but eh. continuiiing! (: ct meeting was uhh, quick and totally relaccxx lah. agreed on dates for everything and blahblah. (: watched the affirmation video and it was really GAHHH. ): i missed what cyf used to be like. reallyreally. ): ohh. i managed to do 2 draft posters for the confirmands, its to draw them to cyf blahblah and despite my usual initial yayness about it, the insecurity slowly creeps in and i start thinking that it isn't that good afterall. pooo. ): so moral of the story is, i don't think i like it much anymore. ): its the whole thingaling about having your work on display. ECKK. ):

we're nearing the end of october already! TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE FREAKING OUT. ): the year's flyiingg! FLYINNGG. ): i feel so utterly abandoned and left behind. ):

the leave-me-alone moments suckk. bleh.

ho hum! OHH. i was half an hour late for lecture today! ): so depressssiinnggg! ): but aiyah. dang the $(^($*%(&#(*!(*! rain and traffic jam and marmalade toast. bleh. ):

oh. funny shit! i likeeey. (: totally can relate lo. HAHA. (:

ALCOHOL WARNINGS.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that your friends are really dying for you to telephone them at 4am.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your trousers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

HOHO. wellzzz, credits to Genevieve Jiang - The NewPaper. (:

i miss alot of things. ): i wna go homee. ):

INSIGNIFICANT Mr. Darling: (seeing the pirate ship floating in the sky back to Never Land) You know, I have the strangest feeling that I've seen that ship before. A long time ago, when I was very young.
-Peter Pan

MEHH. (: there're really oh so many things to dooo. ): there's non-assessed speech, writcom presentation, radio report, confirmation posters, blah blah blah, all of which i'll prolly postpone doing em till i can't postpone it anymore. ): which reminds me, i forgot to call the leaders! whoooops. (:

yesterday was bundles of fun! (: i don't mean school of course. (: radio was somewhat disappointing. ): but okay lah, fairly interesting! but only fairly. hopefully it'll pick up. (:

but the awesomeeest has gotta be noey's birthdaaaypartaye! (: despite the bitching, we played funny games! (: once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! (: (although, bleated it would be now. whoooops. (:)

i'm feeling lazy and there're many things i wish to saay! ):

oh ohh. patrick made a fantastic point that day! (: but whatever he was trying to drive across, punchline was, humans cannot live without love. pooo. ):

happyily. (: lose more weight! lose more weight! (:

where did you say we began?

i wish i could put aside the hatred. the anger. the blah and just forgive and go back loving him no questions asked. but sometimes, every lil thing he does, simply irritates the shit outta me. ): how did things take a turn like this? ): cause i know deep down, i still love him plenty. ):

YAY! hopefully, at long last, i'll be at 7am mass tmr. (:

its an undescribable feeeling.

Wendy: He can fly!
John: He can fly!
Michael: He flewed!
Peter Pan: Now you try.
Wendy: I'll think of a mermaid lagoon, underneath a magic moon.
John: I'll think I'm in a pirate's cave.
Michael: I think I'll be an Indian brave.
Peter Pan: Now everybody try.
Wendy, John, Michael, Peter Pan: One, two, three!
Wendy, John, Michael: We can fly! We can fly! We can fly!
(the children all fall to the ground)
Peter Pan: This won't do. What's the matter with you? All it takes is faith and trust. Oh! And something I forgot. Dust!
Wendy, John: Dust?
Michael: Dust?
Peter Pan: Yep, just a little bit of pixie dust. Now, think of the happiest things. It's the same as having wings.
-Peter Pan

INCOMING gahh. all this negativity is killinggg me. ): everyday's the same thing, sad, happy, sad, happy, angry, happy, bitchy, sad, happy, SCREW EMOTIONS. ): blah.

so, i shall try to think of the happyer things that have happened this week (oh yesh, first week of school's ending! so ho, many more to go, bleh.) so that i would not be feeling as shitty when i drag myself pathetically to school in a while. ): lets seee.
#1 school's fun, and i mean classes, getting there each day just KILLS me. ): maybe poly's really unhealthy for me. eckk. (:
#2 yesterday sammie and i looked absolutely kawaaiii in almost matching outfits! our telepahty still scares me sometimes! but cooooolyo. (: she lent me bangleess too.
#3 i have upgraded in my buying present skills! hoho.
#4 i've new awessomeest songs in my ipod. (not that i really care. HAHA)
#5 EHHHH. i have no need to bring my laptop today? HMM. (i don't know.)
#6 i watched THE WILD again! (:
#7 my cousin makes me happy because she's oh so full of shit. (:
#8 yesterday's homily was nice (but i can't remember it anymore HEH)
#9 i've gotten pictures from the birthday thingaling! (its a happy thing lo! (:)
#10 OHHH. this has got to be the best thing that ever happened! (: after visiting like thousand and one shops in hope that somebody can help me delete this fugly downloaded theme and after almost killing them and myself, i've deleted it myself! WHEEE. (:
#11 oh. and there's the number of cute guys ive been seeing! (:
#12 there're nicee themes in my phone too yah. HAHA.
#13 and nicey 10oclock showww. wheeee. (:
okay lah. this isn't working as well as i've hoped. blah. ):

but with the slightest bit of optimism, i shall forge on to schoool! (: let radio be excitinggg! (: i already know socpsyh will be shit. HAHA.

i think its all within, its fugly fugly fugly! and its making me superwuper unhappy. i don't even want to think about how i'm irritating the people around me. mehh. ):

people delve too deep and make nothing into smtg all the frickinnngtime, suckkks. ):

but i'm happy because today is friday and tmr's saturday and i'm happy tmr's saturday because the tmr is sunday but i hate sunday because the tmr is monday but i lovee monday because the tmr is tuesday!

how is it possible that we have homework alreaady! ): dangling thingaling be nice! (:

you're really pissing me off with your overbearing, i'm superior, the-whole-world-should-be-slaves-to-me attitude. even if it only surfaces once in a while. GAHHH.

OKAY. outtt.

everybody has seemingly disappeared! hmm. ):

supermodel whoo. (:

the urgee to use the Fword, woah woah woaaah.

i really hate you, yknow. RAHHHHH. ):

MORBID AFFAIR
yellow bananaaas. (:


WHEEEEE! (: 2/7! 2/7! lovee. (:


i love this picture! (: again! again! ask who the photographer is! :D


say hello little miss birthday girl! (:


awesomeeest picture! (: ask who the photographer is! hoho! (:


:D


the chief makers. (:




our gift! (:


thats our caaake! (:


how i love her sooo. (: i'm trying oh so hard to be, i don't even know, happy? gahh. ):

your way lord, not mine. ):

close to finishing. blah. ):

god was omnipotent, she saw, not in the way of earthly kings, but in the same way that love was omnipotent. love was the greatest power, and god's omnipotent power was the power of love.
-flirting with forty

SO HAPPY TOGETHER i'm so $^*#)%*(@&*%(!*)#! pissed off lah. ):

i don't know whose fault it is but i'm really angry lah. ): i honestly cannot believe what just happened can. ): ): annoying, self-centered, demanding, crazy, wilful people should just go kill themselves. ): GAHHHHH.

girls are shit lah. ): nokia phones are shit tooo. ):

yesterday's last episode was AWEEEESOMEEEEST. but aye. as usual, channel8 loves to screw up their endings. HAHA. (:

OH. nicole's birthday photos are up on the cerealtosser's blog! (: i miss recess friends. ):

OHH. i forgot, but i'm awfully proud of my best friend! (: she did spectacularly for history! WHEEE! (:

WOKAY. and now i'm back to feeling like i can kill somebody. ):

BORROWED TIME Nigel: I am not a doll.
Monkey #1: Cushy Tushy!
Nigel: Aaahhh! Leave my bum alone!
-The Wild, 2006.

reality's ugly.

friday was blah and saturday was double. but saturday night was silly fun! as per usual. (: i went early to 'help out'. HAHA. and ended up watching THE WILD twice! (: it rockkkks! (: hilarious and kawaaaiii! (: anyways! back to the gathering. i love seeing the couples unwind and almost become one of crazy us. (: but i felt so cheated! because i thought it'll just be the crew! but nehh. there's the 27th for that. (: ohh! i sat in a sports car! (: yepp. in my WOOZY (i wasn't drunk lah please) tired state, the ride was somewhat nauseating but nonetheless exciting! (: hoho. (: mmm. other than thaat, eh. sunday! sunday was spent at grandma's. (: she's so cute i can't taaake it. (: she melts my heart lah. but hmm. i don't really like all the old people. but they make her happy, so its okay. thats all that matters! (: went for lunch after a LONGGG LONG TIME with the family! (: they make me oh so happpyyy. (: we had japanese-neh. (: awesomeest! (:

eh. i went for mass and gahh! i miss 7am mass baaadly. ): but 6pm's lovely tooo! (: the choir's kawaaaiiii. (: but there was a squeaky key. (: hilarious! followed by dinner with retards namely ben and apy. but aye. (: the journey home was made BEA-UTIFUL by the sweetest poop in the world. (so far :D) (: AWW MAN. i'm happy, over the moon happy. (:

and shit school started today. ): i've not understooded anything thus far in lectures and my only source of entertainment is DYINGGG. ): so i suppose i'll have to pay attention in class later. bleh. (:

but i'm immensely grateful and happy to have tomorrow off, free! WHEEEE! (:

OH. I LEARNT SMTG TODAY. conjunctions can be used to start a sentence. dumb primary/secondary school. caused such terrible terrible inconvenience! (: but ehh. lessons today were kinda like confusing thus far, but it really opened my eyes to ALOT ALOT of things. i just haven't fully digested anything yet. its all kinda scaary actually. :D OH. premature babies need to be stroked so that they'll grow. COOOOL. (: i only semi-believe that though. wokay. HAHA.

TIO NONG! (:

Nigel: (as a pack of dogs runs away) Go on, you mutts! Stupid dogs, we could've taken you!
(the pack of dogs return)
Nigel: Taken you to a... to a disco.
-The Wild, 2006

I'M SO CUDDLY, I LIKE YOU! life's somewhat different. mmm.

its three more days till back to school! i'm not exactly looking forward to it but then again, why not? its not like i've got anything else better to do. (: besides, it'll be great seeing those familar faces, adopting the familiar routine and embarking on a whole new journey of media and projects again. eck. just kill me. HAHA.

its slowly creeping towards the end of the year. and for the first time ever, will i have to go to school in the months of november and december. the feeling's just gahhh! but poop. shit happens. ):

the procrastination's backk. there're like gazillions to do but all i want to do is sleep, read and listen to people sing to me. HAHAHAHA. (:

the past two days have been oh so deliriously fun. (: thanks to a certain pooop! (: she's the world's most retarded person i'd say! (: but ho ho, without her, i doubt today would have been the same. thus i'm glad and oh so very happy! (: i've yet to poke her eyeballs. but wheee. i'm excited for later. (: i'm not looking forward to the gazillion holes i've to punch though. ): but yesh, I LOVE YOU GIRL. (:

i went to chomps for dinner yesterday! ho ho. that place brings back memories okay! (: but i had a happy tummy yesterday. the appetite has definitely been shit recently. ): not that i'm complaining. it doesn't really bother me actually. AHAH. (:

i oh so desperately want to change this smelly skin. ): if only things happened just like that, with proclaimation. (:

i shall swim tomorrow. (:

its not so bad now but i've a feeling things are over yet. ):

mmm. there're just random thoughts sifting through and honestly, i'm not exactly in the mood to form them into words. but monday was a bea-utiful day! (: the night was almost magical and i'm really grateful. wheee. (:

saturday was terrible. but nonetheless, i really do love them so. (:

so bland. so the same. so sad i feel like crying. ):

i went back on tuesday. and the feeling kinda like rockked. (: i really miss her but she wasn't home. although spending the night downstairs was oddly comforting too. (: there's still the undercurrent war just waiting to break out but i don't know. i can't help being biased and i can't really control how i feel towards the other side. i mean, i've always felt closer to one. but i suppose it hurts her that i'm being so crude, so open, so harsh about it. ): maybe i should reflect first yah. my prayers have definitely been diminishing. ):

i miss mass. ): i hate how i'm slipping away. ):

there're so many many things i want back.

hearing kuek's voice on my house phone was woaaaah. ):

will you say say say, say that you love me. ohh, my my my, its a beautiful day.

QUESTIONS AND SILENCES there's still that littleeeee bit of disbelief. but i'm a happy kid! (: a happy queasy kid! eckk.

yesterday was great bundles of fun even though, i was exhausted and SUPERWUPER hungry (we ate at 10 and i never saw food again! (: nah lah. i had ONE PATHEEETIC slice of pandan cake which i went around feeeding my fellow sloggers! :D) and mercilessly bullied! (: they rockkkkk. (: i puked. ): or at least, i think i did! everything's bit and pieces! whoooops. (: but hey. that feeling is terrible werrible! it suckks. so i'm determined to never put myself through that again. my determination sucks bee-tea-double-yooou. :D

but ho hum! thats was yesterday! (: the week is mineeee! (: i'm superwuper excited (oh man, my vocab is oh so limited lahh. ):) but hey! at least my point gets across! (: so yesh, i'm superwuper excited for mondaaay! which is also tmr. (: but wheee!

i'm just a lil bit afraid. ):

this is a dumb post. my deep down feelings aren't even conveyed. ):

i hate taxis. i especially hate taxis when i have to wait under the SUPERWUPER hot sun (i'm going to blame nicolelow for the rest of my life :D) but yeaaaah, under the SUPERWUPER hot sun for like half an hour just praying that a cab would stop for me and that i wouldn't be late. hmm. (:

okay. rambling's not working. perhaps tonight! (:

oh! snow queen was %^&%*%(*$%!*%(@)^! speechless. (inserts - and i don't even know whether to put a (: or ): HAHAAHAHA.)

sleeeepy. ):

and there's just that feeling like you're the world's most useleeeeess person. ):

PIMP RIDES over and over and over and over again. ):

K: kuek
M: moose!
N: nicole
P: peiying
R: rebecca


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