all the happy thinking isn't working. ):

'you know, i once read somewhere that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. thats why we call it the present'
-joan collins.

just like i'll stay afloat now. aye. aye. ):

OTHER ENDS assfuckinghole.

lies. all fucking lies. you left me to die when i needed you the most and you expected me to be there to greet you when you get home. i feel like strangling you and screaming the unfairness of the world on the top of my lungs. gah. oh man. i sound so criminal-ish and drama. HAHAHAA. eck. but yesh. you bloody pissed me off today. and i don't think the forgiving's gna come all that easy. because i love you so much, the pain double hurts. ):

major love-hate issues. gahh. ):

i doubt ceasure will even be the answer.

life's shit. pooop. ):

O-KAY
byebye singapore! (:


<3 i loveee aeroplane rides. (:


helloooo thailand! (:


our hotel view. (:


we took the skytrain! to some faraway place. nah. to the weekend market. which is like HUGEEEEEE. and smelly. and hot. and stuffy. and bursting with people and things and what nots and gahhh! it was all oh so overwhelming! but hey. exciting nonetheless, tourist price included. (: back to the skytrain aye. its kindaaa like exciting eh! wheeee! and thats how far it was to our hotel, which is like the tall building at the end. and we walked the entire way okay! HAHAHA. maybe not, more like shopped the entire way. whoooops. (:


donuts oh donuts! melts. (:


our first hardcore day purchases. ho ho. (: the plastic bags were smelly please. HAHAHA. eck.


admist all the complicate window design is siam paragon. it was a retarded mall that made me sleepy and OH. the most surprising fact of all, i was constantly shivering in thailand! HAHAHAHAH. what a loser lah. anywhooos. thats paragon. (:


dinneeer! (: we should have just ate at like the oh so yummy thai resturant down the road. deceiving hardrock. gahhh.


hilarious sign though. oh. and in thailand, there're security checks everywhere. but they're not really secured security checks, if you know what i mean. HAHA. (:


and wheeee! the coool clock. (:


and pretty cool table sign/decor/tablet/whatever. :D


mmmmm. :D


we had to have the mirror removed because of yknow, superstition and all that, waha!


it rocks when taxi fares are equivalent to sg's starting meter! (: tuktuk's a scary things btw. OMGWASHHH.


before takeoff back to sunny lil singapore. (: thailand's like eckkkk polluted!


the food sucked and i was really sad because i really love airplane food lor. but the desert saved the day. ho ho. :D thailand really made me fat can. ):


amazing sunset! (: at least, amazing to me lah. the other side of the airplane had a even more AMAZING view can! i was superwuper jealous lah! gahhh. ): and the appreciative man within sight range of me was sleeping throughout it all. poop. (:


and TAAA-DAAH! my pile of pathetic clothes. :D


lastly! i love her plenty times plenty times plenty! (: (:

BUTTERFLY-EY i'm unhappy. ): but when i think about why i'm unhappy, i realise that there's no reason to be unhappy at all. and that feeling honestly does suck more than feeling unhappy altogether at all. dang. ):

it was all a mistake. it just spun round and round and spiraled out of control.

this is stupid, how i keep getting pulled in by sweet words. ):

those monkeys simply see and do.

ANYWAYS! SAWADIKA. (: thailand was despite all the 'how was it? okay lah.' really wonderful! i was honestly glad for the getaway. and hey, what more can you ask for than eating, sleeping and shopping for four blessed days? :D (my days went like this - wake up, bathe, HAVE AMAAZZING BREAKFAST, shop, eat, shop, HAVE EXCITING DINNNERS, shop, bathe, sleep. :D) sides, i concur (cooler word to use than conclude aye! :D) that thailand has aweeesomee fooood please. (: and my my, i drank like shitloads of coke. somehow, i've been having this odd craving for coke. ho ho. and thailand cokes's like superwuper nice lor. :D :D and i brought back the kawaaaiiiiest waterbottle! (: the new flying rule about liquids sucks though. another story altogther. but carrying the weirdest items in your hand carry does help lead to more lenient checks. ho ho. :D

but yep. sides that, arguements ensued kinda like alot, which really sucked. ): but hey, the love's still there! (: wheeeee. and the four days really help make me feel like i'm finally on holiday lo. (: THANKS MOMMY. (:

OH. and we had the most hilarious conversation about the young, the childish and wishes and prayers. (: i think my family's funnnaye. wheeeeee! (:

AND. thaiair is kinda like pretty. AND. the airport lady tried to be funny and offered me alcohol. despite my numerous refusal, she forced it down my throat (it was really yummy tooo) but despite all that, i'd have loved it more if i could buy alcohol. that idiot prolly felt like an idiot when she realised i wasn't even 18. and she insulted me! like together with five other people. oh wellzz. pooo. (:

and sometimes, i think people are really far too cruel with their words. intentional or not. ): now i know why the beginning was so hard. it's all falling into place now. pooo.

OH OH. today. i like wore 4inch heels to work. which hurted like @^%*(%(@$%(!%(#@$%!) but oh so complimented my outfit. so yeah. no pain no gain! HAHA. but yesh! after i stripped my shoes off and switched them for slippers hey? i was walking to far east when i passed this superwuper tall girl in superwuper tall heels lah! STABS. but yeah. that was just passing thought crossing. :D

i hate rigid lifestyles. ):

into words hey? i thank the big man for the big man. (:

MELTED HAPPINESS it's a childlike world and you can feel the magic
far from the typically tragic

like HAPPY HOLIDAYS. FINALLY! (: i'm using my mac because the vaio is somewhere on the sofa. but gah. it feels so schooool. ): i miss school somewhat. this odd emotion (seeing how i haven't even properly rested yet) is also inspired by the act of just checking my class timetable for next semester. TELL ME ITS TRUEEE, tuesdays are freeee! cross fingers and toes can! WHEE. excitingness! but the rest of the school week's like 9-5? boo. ): but at least its still rush-able for mass kind of timing. ohwellzz! (: and i don't get it! why are some people choosing their own timetables! unfairness. poop. ):

ANYWAYS, work's been craaaazy. (: but still fun, still fun. (: many exciting things are coming up lo. end of year, rockkks. (: can't wait! (:

like wokay man, i feel late for my flight. ): but i dounch know. pray hard it'll be a good trip mannz. if not i'll be like utterly devastated. ):

feeling insignificant suckkks. ):

sometimes i really wonder lor, what the hell is happening. ):

chooo. like, BUHBYE SINGAPORE. (:

spinning around the sun
making my way (my way, making my way)
round and round here i come
it's a beautiful day (it's a beautiful day!)
(:

FAITH GONE BLIND tunnels to gates of white

ho hum! i survived the entire day listening to perfect10. which proved to be fairly entertaining. (: the three of us made fast work but gahh. the boredom almost killed me. ): but aye. the following few day's prolly gna get beeezeee again. sometimes i ask myself, why am i doing this? ): why, stop it. i'm not going to question the irritatingness of it all. and i'm not going to be sulky about anything. its all a cycle yknow. slackers aren't happy and neither are the sloggers. pooop. don't get me wrong, i'm happy somewhat. i just like grumbling. :D

THREE MORE DAAAAYS. (: amazing how we get on each another's nerves so easily. ):

after weighing myself on sunday, i was resolved to lose weight but it all came crashing down today. like hello, i drank bubble tea can. although i did resist the oh so yummy looking tolberone, which is highly admirable because i was REALLY hungry. (: HAHA. i sound like some crazy obsessed weight loser. nahh. but i was so proud of myself on sunday! because lunch was just ONE soft kaya waffle and dinner was milo can. but because of my stupid attempt at losing weight my bloooody stomach woke me up this morning. GAH. useless. so i prolly ate back whatever i lost yesterday. but hey, if i can get up, i'm gna swim tmr! ho ho. (:

just when i thought this is it, time to give up. sometimes, i wished i could strangle you for doing this to me. bahh. what's this, what's this. what you're doing eeeesn't funny can. ): you're hurting me more than imaginable. poooo. ):

we love you oh so much. but sometimes, we really don't get you lo. what you're doing, how you're behaving. sometimes, it really pisses me off how you're carrying yourself and how you're conveying your messages. but i try to put myself in your shoes and i really feel how you feel. but i don't know, if we're overlooking everything bah because we love you so much and maybe because wee part we don't want to let go of all that we've build up. true blue? i really don't know anymore lo. ):

everybody's like everybody. borrrrrring. cha.

you will be who sees me beneath the age conveys.

its unfair how some people smell so good. ):

the music blew me away today. wheeee. maybe i should have worked at a CD shop instead. HMMMM. :D

someday, somebody! mmm. (:

there are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
oscar wilde

VACANCY SIGNS i want somebody i can talk to about things i can't talk to anyone else about. it doesn't have to be all about the physical yknow? although, thats important too. she's the man was the bomb! :D it was hilarious, sweet, touching all rolled into one. (: wheeee! snow queen was aweeesomee tooo. gahh. (:

was blind but now i see.

today's gospel was boooom!

recently i've been,
hopelessly reaching
out for this girl,
who's out of this world
believe me.
she's got a boyfriend,
he drives her round the bend
cos he's 23
he's in the marines
he'd kill me

but so many nights now,
i find myself thinking about her now

cos obviously she's out of my league,
how can i win she keeps dragging me in,
and i know,
i never will be good enough for her,
no no
never will be good enough for her.

got to escape now
get on a plane now
off to L.A. and that's where i'll stay for two years

put her behind me,
go to a place where she can't find me.

cos obviously she's out of my league,
i'm wasting my time coz she'll never be mine
and i know i never will be good enough for her
no no
i never will be good enough for her

THIS IS IT, GOODBYE. how many special people change?
how many lives are living strange?
where were you while we were getting high?

i slept the entire day. gah. ): i can't wait to hit the waters, tomorrow. (:

A DREAMER DREAMS SHE NEVER DIES pain is everywhere. ):

the week's been exhausting, blind hurried running around everyday. ): but aye. thursday ended beautifully with pork ribs, mashed potatoes, nachos and tiger.
(: thanks guys. (:

results came out today. i'm not devastated but really not all that happy. there's that feeling of disappointment and regret and loss. next semester, CHIONG AH. (:

oh, money. ):

i feel absolutely guilty today. ): so this is what being utterly irresponsible feels like. gahh. i don't think i like the feeling but i'm honestly relieved. (: sorry guys! ): all i want to do is crawl into some cave and have alone-time till like FOREVER! okay. monday at least. caaaan? (: dang. this is like dumbness at its prime lo. (:

its just like you to ruin my day, aye? asshole ):

yours, mine and ours was hilarious. (: i lub family shows mannzz. (:

what would tomorrow be like? the day after? the day after the day after? ):

so long so long. today the feeling of loneliness was almost unbearable. but i trust that you wouldn't make me crash and burn and be left helpless and utterly miserable. i know deep down that hope's just somewhere around the corner. i've just got to make it around first.

oh, lighthouse. (:

MINDLESS doesn't it feel like the wind is always howling? ): i couldn't ask for a better last day to conclude my holidays. for three weeks that is. :D and then hopefully i'll have another two weeks before its semester2. (: wellz! for three weeks i shall be banned from slacking and simply enjoying life in the i've-got-nothing-to-do way. (: its going to be an exciting three weeks. the nearer we draw to friday, the more anxious i am. ): friday might ruin everything. ): but till then! party! party! (:

speaking about parties. saturday was fun fun fun! (: i didn't get drunk as easily. possibly because i didn't have to drink so much but i've got a shit throat today. ): feels like there're ulcers all over my gullet or something! GAHH. (: but i had alot of fun! (: we played exciting games! AND we had awesome-est fooood! (:

everything's changing AGAIN. ):

one male has a brain, two males have half a brain and three males have no brain at all.

i'll splash quotes from mother teresa and high school musical2 another day, there's this bee somewhere around! and i'm alone. so EEEEEKS. i'm out! GAHHHH.

BOTTOMLESS IDIOCY

Remy: I just lost my family... all my friends... probably forever.
Gusteau: How do you know?
Remy: Well, I... I... You are an illustration, why am I talking to you?
Gusteau: Oh... you just lost your family... all your friends... you are lonely.
Remy: Yeah, well, you're dead!
Gusteau: Ahh, but that is no match for wishful thinking! If you're focused on what you've left behind, you will not be able to see what lies ahed. Now go up, and look around!
-Ratatouille

its been a crazy week. (: and alas, the holidays are drawing to an end. (: i can't say the holidays were well spent because i didn't get to have fun with everybody i wanted to have fun with. GAHH. dumb promos. (: but aye! i had fun nonetheless with the fellow poly slackers. thinking back, i prolly spent like everyday in their presence. omgwashh. :D

aye. i know the reason behind my grumpy-ness. and i'm sorry friend! ): its not a good nor justifiable reason and i've been telling myself repeatedly not to get bothered so easily but aye. sometimes, the emotions are hard to repress. but other than that, i'm happy okay. stop saying i'm not. after all, there're no projects nor exams! what's there to be unhappy about? (: i should stop lying to myself. WAHA.

i've seen intuitive people and omgwashh! impressive! :D

sometimes, the demands rise so high, i wish i could ask you to stop pushing and asking and to just look at how you're behaving. but i do understand and because i love you so, i'm keeping quiet. and there's still the LOG in my eye which i cannot overlook. so i only pray hard everything'll be happy-okay soon. ):

party tonight! (: i don't know who's going but i hate how i've to be late. ): i'll miss all the food can. but gah. the responsiblities beckon. there's this thing holding everybody back from giving all they can. i wish we could all be open about everything. but its not a simple life.

i miss my bestfriends. ): and one of them always makes me laughh. YAY! (: i LUB you guys plenty eh! (:

i'm happy that you're happy but aye. it hurts sometimes when your happyness comes from someone else. (: but whats meant to be will be! cliche but all in consoling oneself. (:

i rather be there for you.

the blog has a STALKER! my dearest baby cousin. BE HAPPY EH! church is a happy place despite all the you know what! (: i'll come over soon, china people or not. promise. (:

snow queen costs like 42 BUCKAROOOOES OKAY! GAH. ):

i'm kinda like looking forward to work now. (: but even though the escape is welcomed i sorta like wish things could be done another way. ): but there's still hope. GET THE HINT! GET THE HINT! (: i'm kidding. i know i don't matter. GAHH. dang.

anywhoos, the man of the house's pms-ey. ): i wish he'll be okay soon. its a somewhat happy day afterall. (: i LUB my family! (:

don't foolishly believe what you see or hear aye. and reallyreally, whats wrong with being alone? i honestly do think its not all that bad. i mean, its all this emphasis people are placing on pairs that have lonely alone people wanting to be part of all that. i hate how everything's unfurling. GAH. dang. sounds so angsty! WAHA. but eh! without eve there is still animals aye.

don't say you love me. DON'T. ):

MARKING'S SHIT. i've decided that people with sucky handwriting should shoot themselves! (: and i don't know about teachers but i love it best when i mark an empty script. don't make life easy for your teachers poops. (: but don't make it too hard either. give them something awesome to mark. reallyreally. the feeling you get marking a everything-correct script is out of this world. (: WHEEEE. (:

i hated what i heard about you. and i hated it more knowing that what they're saying is somewhat true. ):

i enjoyed running despite the heat and the stuffy feeling that made me feel like i was going to drop dead and die any moment. WAHA. swimming on monday! (: i sort of like this. (:

wokay. let the weekends be fun fun fun! pleaaaase. (:

Django: (showing the exterminator shop to Remy with the dead rats in the window) The world we live in belongs to the enemy, we must live carefully. We look out for our own kind, Remy. When all is said and done, we're all we've got.
(Django starts to walk away)
Remy: (defiantly) No. Dad, I don't believe it. You're telling me that the future is - can only be - more of this?
Django: This is the way things are; you can't change nature.
Remy: Change is nature, Dad. The part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide.
Django: (Remy turns to leave) Where are you going?
Remy: With luck, forward.
-Ratatouille

TWO PEOPLE jeweller's shop didn't fulfil the anticipated. twas abstract and somewhat complicated. but gah. (:

yesterday was my first time back at mass since my week's absence. (: aww man. i reallyreallyreallyyy miss going for weekday mass. gahhh. ): today would be my last before the long absence due to work. ):

sometimes, i'm so afraid i'll let you down because i keep getting my priorities mixed up. ): i'm afraid i'll drift from your side. away from comfort and into treacherous waters. ): keep me safe dear lord i pray. ):

yesterday was also the first time since val left that i heard her voice! (: omgwashhh. i miss her like truckloads. ):

what's normal? who do yall wna see? ): what more can i give? sometimes, the feeling are misfitted.

UNANSWERED PLEAS PALAWAN, SENTOSA. (:


check out the wet fugly haaair. :D


after our bath. (:





for more fugly pictures. :D :D
http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/225682

oh yesh, and val's farewell! (:
http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/209892 this's this years' sjs. (: wasn't as awesome as last year's but aye. beautiful nonetheless. (: (:






the girls. (: pppppy has shaky hands. omgwashh.


the guys. (: seeee. combined is our force from cyf. WAHA. patheticc. but they were great fun. :D


pppppy.


this was the speaker. kawaaii eh! its even covered in flowers. WAHA.


marion was being a pooop! ): check out how sweaty they were mannnz. (: they were the hype-the-crowd people. :D


as picture perfect as picture perfect gets. (:


<3


he made us say sji. i said ij and ended up looking fugly. HAHA. but ayee. i demanded a retake. (:


OH WELLS. :D


fugly picture but wonderful friends. (: i really missed him. gahh. (:


MY POOP! (: (: (:


WAHHHH. i really really reallyyy miss them. ): i likey this picture best! (:


wheeee! (: i love them plenty. they're abit crazy. WAHA. (:


:D


AND! my birdy! (: (:

MAGNIFICAT today, i was struck with the revelation that there are really many different kinds of people in the world. and people that float around aimlessly do exist. people who are so simple, i honestly wonder if they're happy like that. people, boy are they hard to understand. i mean, what are they really really thinking? what are the right questions to ask so that they'll open up? what makes two people, click? what do simple people think about normally? are their minds simply, blank? gahhh. questions.

dreams, aspirations, hopes. do you know what you wna be when you grow up? what you wna do? is it really truly normal to not know? to not have that IT since young. i mean, if you don't, what are you living for now? what if IT never comes? what if. oh pooop. but i mean, really really. have you ever thought about IT? its definitely fantastic to have a goal, a vision to work towards. makes everything a wee bit more worthwhile and meaningful doesn't it. but how are you supposed to live without that drive? that force? worries for the future plague me. because i do know, that even having IT will not guarantee a bright, secured future. happy and fulfilling. dear me. ): i guess it all goes back to blind trust. faith in the big man up there. (:

i miss attending weekday mass. its been a week. gahh. i hate how i allow myself to be so submissive to temptation, to be weak. dang.

so caught up, so absorbed. who's the ONE?

everybody's so the same, makes me sick of being reflected. makes me go eck at knowing that this is how i actually am portraying myself. its all oh so confusing. ):

the holidays are already jam-packed with activities. i hope i'm making the right choices. upcoming's the jeweller's shop play (which i'm only semi-excited for), the marking job, outing with diana! :D, results, the flyers job, thaaailand! :D :D and of course, amongst all the flurry's i'll be back at the same ol for 3weeks. (:

aye. sjs was a bit of a disappointment. ): after a wholeee year of being excited for it eh. OMGWASHH. ): they didn't show the videoo. hopefully i'll get to see it soon! ): they screened the bangalore one though. and aye. it brought back memories and i couldn't help but be reminded of what T said. it hurt. ): and eh. unforseened circumstances and a bout of guilt led to a semi unenjoyable praise and worship. i'm really sorry guys! ): ): and lynette asked me the most thought-provoking question when we went around saying hello-s and taking pictures with the long-time-no-sees. she asked if i wanted to sign up for the thingy thing that was going around. and i said no. she asked why. i said i wasn't up to it. i said if things were meant to be, if we were meant to go, we'll be sent upon that journey. and then came the ultimate food-for-thought, it went along the lines of, how's life after pattaya compared to before. did i become closer to god? and my answer was trials. there were more challenges than before. so much that sometimes, you wonder if you should just completely give up. i've never been so tested before. and she agreed whole-heartedly. and i must say, its really really true. ):

sentosa today was woah. i missed val like plenty plenty. ): going back to her bus-stop to bus down to harbourfront made things like harder. gwashh. but aye! (: i had fun although a totally different kind of fun compared to the last trip down. (: and wooooosh, i got burnt even though it was terribly cloudy and it felt like it was drizzling throughout. waha. amazinggg. (: but because of the stinky specs, the face tan is disggggusting.

it somewhat hurts when you think back. when you see how solitary things can become. ): sometimes its oh so hard doing unto others what we want others to do unto us. ): challenges. i hate how i sometimes hurt others because they've hurt me. ): i wished i did things differently. handled things better, didn't simply just charge towards wanting things to go my way. ignoring another route, being upset when i finally realise that the route i took led to a dead end. silly silly. gahh.

i don't miss school. but i definitely miss the friends. close as we may not be. i wonder how going back's going to be like. eeeks. (:

sometimes i get so affected by what you're doing. but sometimes clarity just slaps me and i go, why am i allowing this to happen? i cannot force things. they don't go how i want them to go. so aye. i'll perserve and really just strive to keep things light and as happy as possible. (: cross these fingers and toeees. (:

there're too many reminders to deal with. ):

after realising i forgot what day yesterday was yesterday. i finally saw how i'm jumbling my priorities. the feeling was eck. ):

let everything be okay soon.

the special is usually easily replaced. thats the cynic in me talking. HAHA.

i'm getting myself hooked to sudoku. poooop. :D

expressive words, how i love. (:

sometimes i just hate how nice yall are being cause that really makes hating yall simply unjustifable. ):

chances, they come, they go, say they come again?

thanks you for the cheek-aching laughter guys. (: thanks for being amongst us then tooo. (: all thy doing, i know and i'm grateful, plentyplenty. (:

I'LL PICK UP DANDELIONS AND GIVE THEM TO YOU longggg overdue waffle pictures! :D


genny's! (:


tabby's! (:

they've got eccentric waffles aye? waha.


this was ours. (: we all spreaded it the same way. WAHAHA.


wheeeee. (:


it was a good day. (:

CHINAAATOWN. (:


i wish i wish, i could buy em alllll. (: bea-utiful aye? sighh. (:


it looked better than it tasted. ):

this is our longggg over-due letter. :D whooops.


looks commmplicated aye! smart us fixed it in like twenty minutes? WAHA. i'll give kuekkk credit and say it was kinda fun to fix. :D


wheeeee. i conclude that i suck at sticking things tgt though. ho ho. (:

TEACHER'S DAAAY! (: i took a few with nerissa and nicole but its with em. HINT. WAHA. but checkk out the cubby holes. EXCITING! (: it felt like valentine's or smtg. :D



and to close, denis the menace! (:


<3 the insecurities of a child. (:

i kinda like wished i was at the procession right about now. ): but aye. this year, last year, its going to be the same thing aye? ): i wished i knew the reason behind the things i do. does make making decisions a weee bit easier. ):

dang. i've been wishing too much recently. thats not normal, is it!

STAR LIGHT, STAR BRIGHT.

K: kuek
M: moose!
N: nicole
P: peiying
R: rebecca


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