there're so many things to do!! but because i've gotta wait for people before i can do things, i can't do things anymore! ): WELLS, MS JACLYN CHONG! WHERE'RE THE PHOTOS! :D i just upped the airport photos, and fwah, i look like SHIT! other than that, nerissa's so cheeky she oughta be kicked. :D i miss the girls! most of all, i miss kuek! i think the family picture's good. (: not the gang, but yeah, kuek dad and bro. i'm never gna not charge my camera anymore! to think i learnt my lesson already. i guess not. hee.

OKAY, i caught like happy birthday yesterday. and i think i learnt alot from the show. i like inspiring shows! (: yay yay yay. but they never do last, so i'm not gna bother listing what i've learnt. hmm, i've taken a liking for shopping alone. so despite what anyone says, i'm gna shop alone for new year! :D poor money. they get spent rather quickly when i'm alone. :D :D

PAYDAY, where're yoooou. ):

9feb, eeks!

SYMPHONY NO. 9 leading up to kuek's departure for down under, i ate like bloody alot! i can't really remember the exact events, but i definitely can remember rushing against time. anyways! she's been there, three/four days now. and i *^$^$!%)@! miss her. ): i gather, its only going to get harder. when it was three, the underlying tensions could be balanced but now. i don't know! we're all going through changes. starting on a new chapter in our lives. and wails, i don't think i can keep up. people are changing changing changing, its either that, or i'm getting more self-absorbed. all this work is sucking my life outta me. i've got no more time left to stop and think. there're the good and bads.

this insecurity complex is killing me!! now there's no one left to talk to! its hard to mind read. the rally was fun. i'm no more looking forward. this is $^%%^$*^! harder than i thought. shucks, i've been swearing alot, using obscentities in church somemore! tskk.



















flower, flower! (: nice ayeeee. i did the flower arrangement whilst the guide tied. :D HMM. i've got unglam shots. lots of em. hurr.

UP AND AWAY. ney, sometimes i'm so sick and tired of waiting, of hoping, of looking forward, of being happy, of being human, of responsibility, of righteousness, of addictions, of obsessions, of buying, of talking, of trying, of acting, of lying, of pretentiousness, of desire, of everything. but you can't run and you definitely can't hide.

i hate computers. well, i mostly hate not knowing of to operate em.

life sucks. and i hate having to deal with what its offering. wails.

anyhoots, i think i'm gna stop caring. uh huh.

in the unbelievely nice show, he was looking for an answer for his cancer and he came up with something along the lines of how life was a journey. and on this journey you know will end one day but you can never see its ending. his life was particulary smooth sailing and never had any traffic lights or obstructions. and so he's destined to reach the end of journey earlier than the rest. like how sad is that!? my gaad, its not your fault you have a sheltered luxurious life, who would choose to suffer? hmm.

I WISH I WAS.. now so, hopefully things are starting to settle down.

i'm getting nicely adjusted at work. with more things to do = less time to feel useless = exhaustion! :D i'm starting to feel also like i missing out on alot. i cannot see past the next few months and many many days to, school. the thought of having no where to go, scares me shitless. ): the work partys lined up leaves me hanging with anticipation and dread. new friend, new friend! :D :D i'm looking forward to mondays. hopefully, she wouldn't break my heart.

all these supersititons are playing with my mind and slowly, i find myself confused as to what to believe. i had a god related question last week. and now i'd forgotten. poooey.

everybody seems so far away. they say how good friends can pick of from where they left off since they part no matter how many months that is but i still worry. kuek's leaving and there's no urgency. AND WAILS. everything just sucks with a weird time-schedule.

so funny, so funny. its like the episode never happened at all. what're going through people's minds really.. hmm.

i'm back to missing mission. THIS SUCKS.

i need shopping and aye. pee-inducing laughter. :D :D

life's hard and i HATE how i always speak without thinking. lesson learnt.

is january supposed to be monsoon season too? i've just started applying sunblock daily. WAAH. ):

hot models, hot models. OOH. the perks. :D

oh, and dinner with py was good. she's the only one who's interested to meet up with me. HAHA. but i love her so. and i'm glad she's happy. where'd the rest of happy farts go? ):

JUST NOT MY CUPPA TEA some people get it easy.

life's not a bed of roses, and i, have been wearing rose-tinted glasses. this sucks, to suddenly realise the reality of things. that people aren't always happy and things always cheery. i guess the old are really wise. there're so many more things to explore.

it hurts when we don't seem to click as much as we do. the trouble with not meeting often, is the competition you have with time to let known everything thats important. i'm mixed up, i don't think i get the meaning of bonding. words are confusing, honestly.

i can't wait for mahjong. especially the company. things just seem different over green tiles. but the key, is family, is it not? chinese new year seems so very far away.

i'm quite dreading every morning when i've gotta drag myself down for work, but when i'm there things aren't so bad until i screw up. my memory really needs tweaking. monday's gna be real quiet. dang. but truly, i think i'll miss them when the time comes. and i haven't gotten over the guilt of letting them down. oh why, dammit, am i so weak. hmm.

ms tham's been sweet, i miss tuition. i really do. wails. but its time to move on and stand on my own two feet and make my own bloody decisions.

the fengshui freaked me out but really, is it better to believe or not to believe?

friday was fun, i throughly enjoyed myself. yay. (: i'm going to miss weekday mass, like shit.

aye, although i've always looked down/depised/been prejudiced against him, my mommy's right. there're so many many things i can learn. a good heart, thats all one needs. aint it.

i'm reminded of perry's lesson everytime i think of whether i made a mistake as to not going to MI. i can say, my mom's not right all the time. but how true is that really. gaad. but i'm happy so really, i'll try and keep up. NOTES NICOLE. :D i analyse things really badly. shat.

are people just superficial or am i simply not making enough effort? aye, its really different, reading about somebody and knowing them personally. who's this alter-persona?

the twelfth day of christmas ended, yesterday? SAD THING! ):

THE OTHER YOU. i can box myself, when i had the ompf to switch to the new blogger, i couldn't find the panel. and now when i can, i don't wna switch no more! roar.

ANYWAYS, i can't believe its january first! can't can't can't can't can't. time flies and i cannot agree more. i can't remember who, but someone told me that time flies by faster as you get older. dang! but yes, despite it all, life goes on. and i admire the courage some have. BUT YES, HAPPY NEW YEAR! and once again, i cannoooot believe its january first. gah.

KUEK! come back soooon. (: oo, i cannot contact ms tham so i'm getting a wee bit worried. shit.

regrets regrets, i want no more of em.

GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN.

K: kuek
M: moose!
N: nicole
P: peiying
R: rebecca


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