TWO DAYS. persuading people is no easy feat. today was emotional. no no, emotional's probably an understatement.

gah, i suffer from horrible time management and yet do nothing about it. tskk!

i took the first step forward, now return it. please? :D

stress makes me moody and highly snappish. my deepest apologies.

WARNING: teachers do collect secondary four's holiday homework. pffft.

ahh, AUNTIE MARIAAH! i love you toooo! (:

things are gna be alright, right?

one-liners are terribly boring.

/when all chips are down

nyah, i had fun yesterday; despite being unable to persuade those lazy shits to come for guitar night. (: so be it, it's gna be one night i know.

bad news always come to break the momentum of good. pfft. audrey brought bad news, but i know we can do this, and i know for certain she can too. she's the strongest i've known.

checked out this term's timetable and it's nonsense la. physics are ALL on the same day. and two late days because of the extra one geog period slotted in. rahh. i don't wna go back. i don't wna have pe on monday first thing. and i don't wna know how others studied all holiday while i slacked and come back with incomplete homework. poop. but yet still, i quite looking forward to orals, prelims, studying and o's. (:

but at least i completed english, YAY. (:

i'm indecisive, slow and paranoid. so, shoot me.

eeks, i've got teerrible sentence structure. EWW.

i'll always look back, as i walk away
this memory will last for eternity
and all of our tears, will be lost in the rain
when i've found my way back; to your arms again



/higher now, in the sky. practices couldn't get any better. (: 6 more till the big day. its homework day today! i adore doing homework with patient people. i get to ask as many questions as i want and not get snapped at. taught a junior 'star wars' and although, i don't know if i taught her correctly. YAY! i used to be the one who gets taught la, still is. BUT. i feel good. (:

oh, i tuned my decomposed guitar yesterday! (using my three years defunct pitch pipe) and i'm pretty darn proud of myself! like hello, TUNE LEH. well, only the first two strings were perfect; according to my standards that is. but from snap string, to almost-perfect is a hefty accomplishment. practically brag-worthy. but its getting smelly and rusty. ): plots to 'borrow' the school guitar was made today. hahah.

poop, it seems like such yester-years when i totally abhored attending. but now. gah. (:

i've got a itchy throat. pfft.

i'm honestly exhausted. 7 hours of sleep and waking up in betweens is pathetic, especially after a day of bustling. i now can't talk with sense or read with vigor. i'm TIRED. ): oh wait, i could just be lazy. heh.

i'm terribly lousy. i wanted to visit today. but noop. i had to ponder about my constant difficulties in communicating and changed my mind. whatever happened to 'actions speaks louder than words.' somebody, shoot me. cause i knew that, just plainly ignored it.

BUY BUY BUY! :D

homework's a drag, it kills joy. no pun intended. (:

its confirmed! it has always been blue, never black. how could they! pfft.

/picturesque decrepitude its terrible seeing things from the wrong prespective. and knowing how you got it wrong after making a scene, slaps you in the face the most. why can't things just be laid out all obvious, saves you from pondering what may not even be. excuses, are providence for avoidance. purely nonsense. but hopefully, how i'm seeing this, wouldn't let me down.

i've lost the ability to juggle. i neglected alot for others. and to think, i thought the fault didn't lie with me. it all surfaces when you don't need it too. but no point forever being in the dark does it. its time to change things. at least then maybe things will start moving along. its been long enough.

i'm missing alot. its atrocious how i concentrate on one thing, without being flexible enough to realise that there are many others i can complete while waiting for my turn.

maybe, you don't reprocriate the gesture so its no point being all expectant really.

settlers was planned for the holidays, and the holidays are already ending! wails.

when you said you would, you didn't mean it did you?

i'm gna miss gweneal during guitar. she's not coming anymore all holiday, that pig! i'm going to miss her irritating-ness. :D can't wait for sunday, i'm going to holler names and see heads turn.

CURLY fries. (: the normal fries, with fake ones smuggled amongst. i got molested today, and i'm disgusted. i should be shot for discriminating. i'm hysterical, a shoulder's like important. why grace me with your attention now. poop.

its going to be an exciting week with fantabulous company. so i suppose this rounds up the holidays. we'll see how it goes. its after all only the start. deep breaths!

i detest tuesday nights.

drama serials are eating into my life. poop. (:

she's back!

its about time for repentence! i've got my sins all listed out and its been haunting.

i'm a little used to calling outside your name
i wont see you tonight so i can keep from going insane



/you can leave me tomorrow, if it suits you just the same. five more days to magically washed dishes and litter that clears out after you leave a particular room without even having to lift a finger. (:

but i aint sure if i'm truly looking forward to it all.

housework, food, homework and weird storybooks have been awesome company. poop.

one can't hang around the library for too long, your nose will start to twitch, your eyes water and your head just spinning looking at tall short medium book spines EVERYWHERE. rows and rows and rows. stuffy ventilation and aching legs. but still, i had fun. did that just sound like a big fat contradiction? i think it did.

i'm not in the mood. i've been scanning stuff, not actually seeing it, understanding it or even storing it. terrible waste of time. got to start putting in the 'e' in effort.

why does it seem that even though i've been out, i've been at home doing nothing all holiday? nay. it must be my overworking imagination or my greed to just have more. gah.

my stomach has been weird for days now. its like egh, rumbling, jumbling nonsense.

omf, nostalgia kills. i don't like making trips down memory lane because i know its impossible to ever go back to the same IT feeling. the funny tingling feeling where you know this is the day you would kill to experience over and over again. hey, that feeling sometimes slaps me in the face when i wake. but, blue-moon rarely. pfft. at least, it was once all that, idyllic. so thats the plus point, isn't it.

i encountered the CUTE-EST thing yesterday; a muscial scroll! the tunes are to die for! PREEEETEE. but poop, they didnt have stock for ALL the nice sing-songs. i shall try and go back for them, if i'm not too lazy that is. they better re-stock, cause i've got my eyes on three! they make peerfect lullabys. mmm. (:

spin round and round and round. (:

explainations are nonsense. lies and half-truths they are, not?

ohh, its py's day today. after celebrating it on saturday, it seems as if its already pass. but noopee. so SWEET SIXTEEN PEIYING! truckloads of love and wishes. (:




/standstill


everything's seemingly superficial and superfluous.

i can't seem to get enough. but i believe when its not my day and i still annoyingly insist on going out, things just don't turn out as right. its a state of mind thing, i know. but i like to think that theres a time and place for everything. the sales can just go and die. its tiring following, its even more tiring keeping up, so why not take things slow? poop.

i was excited, i was happy, i was positive, i was at peace, i was feeling generous, and i was above all that ready to do whatever you pleased. but noo, things just had to come crushing down. it's always up and down, isn't it.

have i mention i've lost all sort of interest in interacting? perhaps i'm turning depressional. ooo, scary. but yeah, i'm unused to the fact that people note my other self. its all too disturbing. it takes nothing but a prod down the wrong way to go back.

its easy to lose being yourself amidst all the going ons. perhaps i pay too much attention. say, perhaps its time to take it easy. taking it easy in verbal form's simple but whats the point of taking it easy when my mind still ponders? but yet, how so can i say what displeases when i don't want to offend? dilemna. pfft.
reading too much into things can get tiresome.

why say mean things, when you don't really know whats going on, you just hear it? why say as if you know, why nobody ever really? why be nice when you so obviously hate the guts of the other? why question just to speak bad? how so, does that make things happier for anybody? how so, does that lift anybody's spirit? why so, do i still do it? why so, does everybody? i need a magical talking book that answers all my questions. (:

perhaps, we read things differently. but i dislike how you involved me in your caring.

i think golden yellow which is a tad like mustard yellow, nougat which is this vanilla greying pink colour and pine which just is moss green converses are pretty. (: mustard and nougat, gahh. (:

/just a face and nothing more.
and so the week's been complicated.

dance night was pretty alright i suppose. the screaming was fun. :D other than that, hmm, i was pretty zonked. not in the right mood. hurr.

the week's been a killer with lessons and guitar practices! pooof. going to school has never been such a chore. cause its really neither here nor there. gah.

piano scores scouring was pretty much a success! so i'm happy. (: although, there are still pieces i'm thinking of. but ho, time's a plenty.

i don't believe this, i haven't been out for fun or shopping for myself since the holidays started. this sucks. ): the great singapore sale's gna breeze by just like that. poop.

its time for some changes around here.

i think doing housework's good exercise. that's until you get used to it. kudos to housewives and domestic help. cleaning has never been so tiresome.

a kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh. the fundamental things apply, as time goes by and when two lovers woo, they still say, "i love you"




/across the sky, blue ribbon banners. blogger must be down! everything looks funny. poof. anyho, i'm here with a purpose. and that is HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST SAM! half an hour left. hope you had a wonderful fifteen and a even brighter sixteen! cheeers. (: and hurr. half an hour early to MISS NISHAL GAL BIRTHDAY. hahaha. HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN PURPUR COULUR. :D xoxoxo i was probably a major embarrasement last night. i wasn't as scared as during the rehearsal but somehow, the keys looked mighty foreign. so foreign i had to stop and recollect myself inviting gasps and nervous murmurs amongst the crowd. unnerving. but nonetheless! i'm glad its over. i cannot say i'm not disappointed with my performance. but i'm happy to let it be. at least, i made new friends? (: but gah, i've got to work harder on my skills. gotta spruce myself up, in order to have at least some sort of achievement in my life. i don't wna keep having breakdowns. kinds of disrupts the whole mood. hurr.

i'm starting to lose my small bit of people touch. i'm starting to lose interest in interacting. cause i've been finding myself on the receiving end way too often. i don't mind listening, but i would be nice if you'd return the favour. at least feign interest. anything. i don't need much cause i never expected it. but your callousness made me cringe.

guitar today was a huge accomplishment if i must say so myself. i didn't read, stone or chit-chat as per usual. although that was mainly cause ms sin was with us most of the time. anyhow, ran through all 6 main ensemble pieces. and boy do i miss hearing her unique voice sing the tune and her funny and only-her antics, the numb and swollen fingers and the thrill of hearing myself play no matter how horrible and out of timing. :D

don't comment as if, you've done wonderfully so yourself. don't say it was all made in jest. cause i took your words pretty seriously even though i'd flippantly brushed it away. at least, i made a point to greet, you didn't even. stop asking so much from me, when you yourself gave nothing. omf. i'm starting all the over-reaction business again.

i haven't been in a fine mood.

expectations; i don't get how you see things. you make it sound as if i haven't lifted a finger. i have. no matter how small, at least i did. stop it with the comparing. cause i definitely don't see what you see in him. at least, not that awesome. i don't expect you to praise me or whatsoever. just stop pushing it. stop rubbing it in already. i get the point. poof.

nonsense. i dislike how other people's choices affect mine.





/story about a man, so afraid to fly, he never did land

K: kuek
M: moose!
N: nicole
P: peiying
R: rebecca


layout by leen